Pride and Possibility
by StarsTilDawn
Summary: I always knew who I would fall in love with and marry. So why, when the moment came, was it so anticlimactic? Why did I find myself wanting more? And for Merlin's sake, why do I find myself so keen to add Ted Tonks to the ever-growing list of my problems?
1. Chapter 1

I always knew, from the age of eight, who I was going to fall in love with and marry. Lucius Malfoy: a year older than me, and an absolutely perfect match in every way. The Malfoy family didn't quite have the prestige of the Blacks, admittedly, but they were rich enough to support me and their bloodlines were as pure as any. The two houses needed to be tied by marriage, and Lucius and I were the obvious candidates. And while Lucius wasn't exactly the best looking of boys, who was I to worry about such trivalties? But now, standing on the balcony of my family's manor and staring up at a night sky as smooth as velvet and scattered with glittering stars, I was horribly conscious of the silence stretching between us.

"It's beautiful, isn't it?" I asked, merely to break the silence.

"Yes," he said. "It is." He turned to me, and I tore my gaze from the sky to his face. He was so pale that he almost seemed to glow in the darkness. "Although not nearly as beautiful as you."

"Why, thank you," I said. I smiled, more out of habit than anything. "But you flatter me excessively, I think." There was another moment of silence.

"Andromeda, there's something I've been meaning to ask you for a long time now."

I felt a lump rise in my throat as I realised what was coming. "Are you sure they won't be wondering where we are?" I asked in a high-pitched voice. "Maybe we should go back inside…" It was a stupid question: of course they wouldn't worry where we were when the entire dinner party had probably been planned to allow us this moment.

"They can spare us for a few more minutes, I'm sure." He smiled at me in the darkness, and slowly got to his knees. I felt sick. "Andromeda Black, will you marry me?"

I took a sharp breath, not wanting to say the words I'd always known I would say. In the silence which hung between us, I could hear the sounds of quiet conversation inside. Lucius shifted his weight slightly, obviously uncomfortable in the kneeling position. "Uh…" I began awkwardly. I cleared my throat. "Yes. I will. I mean-" I tried to force some enthusiasm into my voice- "I'd love to."

My entire body felt rigid, numb. I barely noticed Lucius slip the ring on my finger and straightening up again. We stood facing each other for a few awkward moments, and we smiled shyly at each other. I wondered if he would kiss me (was it my imagination, or were our bodies leaning closer together, the way couples do in books?) but a second later Lucius glanced back at the door.

"Well, shall we go inside and announce the good news? I've already talked to your father, of course."

I nodded. "Yes, lets." I brushed my hand lightly against his, searching for some kind of excitement within myself. I found none.

Lucius pulled open the door and held it for me. I thanked him quietly, and the two of us set off down the hall towards the dining room. I walked half a step behind him, already feeling myself falling into the role of subservient wife. Our families were seated around the dining table. As we walked in, they all looked up expectantly from the small talk they had been making. It occurred to me that they probably all knew exactly what we were about to announce.

Lucius smiled at them, and after a moment's delay I followed suit. For a second, there was absolute silence. Then Lucius spoke. "I- that is to say, Andromeda and I- have an announcement to make." He let the excited silence hang for a moment, pausing to smile at me. I forced a smile back. "I have proposed to her, and she has done me the honour of accepting that proposal." He let the silence hang in the air for the briefest moment, hungrily soaking up the approval on their faces, and then added, "We're engaged!"

I still felt numb. I was only seventeen, and I hadn't even finished Hogwarts- I started my last year in just over a week. Surely I wasn't old enough to be in this situation? But if I refused him now, then I would risk never getting married at all. So I simply forced my smile wider and nodded at the six faces staring at me.

My father leapt to his feet. "Well, I think this calls for a toast! Blinky, bring me that centaur-made wine, would you? The one I'd been saving for just this occasion." He headed over to shake Lucius' hand and congratulate him. My mother and sister's hurried over to excitedly congratulate me, followed a few moments later by Mrs Malfoy.

A few seconds later, Blinky appeared with the wine and father poured it into eight glasses. "It seems only yesterday that 'Meda was small enough to hold in the crook of my arm. To think she's old enough to be engaged! My first daughter, engaged!" For a moment, the expression on Bellatrix's face was murderous, but she covered it quickly and no-one else seemed to notice. An ice-cold glass was pushed into my hand.

Father beamed at me as he raised his glass. "To a long and happy marriage!" We all followed him in raising our glasses and clinking them together softly. I took a shaky sip of the expensive drink without tasting a thing, as the adults excitedly discussed our engagement and then moved on to anecdotes about their own. I fixed what I hoped was an interested expression on my face, and counted the hours until I could go to bed and try not to think about the evening.

Even when the Malfoys left and I began getting ready for bed, though, I couldn't be free of the memory of what had happened.

"You're so lucky, Meda!" Cissy gushed, when the Malfoys had finally left and I was getting ready for bed.

"I suppose," I said unenthusiastically.

"Lucius is _perfect_." She sighed as she pulled a brush through her thick blonde hair. "I hope I have half as much luck when I get married."

"Yeah."

"You're worried about Bella, aren't you?" When I didn't reply, she continued, "Don't be, honestly. She's just jealous. She'll get over it."

I shrugged, knowing that Cissy was being naïve. Bella didn't "get over" things- she could bear a grudge for years, over the most insignificant of things. I remembered the time Crabbe had called her a harpy and she had spiked his morning pumpkin juice with Toothache Tincture every morning for the rest of the term, only stopping when our Head of House had begun a personal investigation. She still despised the boy. I shuddered, and tried to cover it with a yawn. "Sorry, Cissy, I'm really tired. Would you mind leaving me to get some sleep?"

"Of course. I suppose you need your beauty sleep more than ever, now you've got a fiancé to keep happy." She flashed me a sunny smile, and left the room humming, with steps so light she was almost dancing. At the doorway, she paused and twirled to smile at me again. "Night, Meda. Sweet dreams."

"Goodnight, Cissy," I said tiredly, climbing into my four poster bed. One of the house elves had left a hot water bottle in it, and I hugged it close to my chest and felt the delicious warmth spreading through my body. Even as my body relaxed, though, my mind was racing. Could I have said no to Lucius? Could I change my mind now?

But I already knew the answers: no, and no. The honour of the Black family was resting on mine and my sisters' shoulders, and it was a burden I couldn't ignore- especially with the odds of Bellatrix marrying well decreasing almost by the day. That meant that, more than ever, it fell on me to secure a marriage to a good man, produce an heir for him and not cause any scandal- and _certainly_ no broken engagements.

I squeezed my eyes together, trying to forget, and eventually drifted into sleep.

*

I was woken by a sharp rapping on my door. "Miss Andromeda? Muffy has a letter for you."

"Come in," I called, without opening my eyes. My bed was deliciously warm, and I wanted to savour the sleepy feeling for just a few more minutes… And I had a feeling that when I woke up fully I was going to remember something I would feel better forgetting.

It seemed Muffy had other ideas, however. The elf laid the letter on the cabinet by my bed gently, and crossed the bedroom to open the curtains. "Will Miss Andromeda be wanting breakfast in bed this morning, or will Miss be taking it in the dining room?"

"Oh- downstairs, I suppose."

"Then she should go down soon- as always, Mistress Black does not wish Miss Andromeda to get into slothful habits."

I nodded. "Of course. Tell her that I'll be down shortly."

"Especially not now that Miss Andromeda is engaged," the elf added brightly. She bowed low and left the room.

Suddenly, the previous evening came flooding back: Lucius Malfoy on one knee, the ring, my family toasting our engagement… I shuddered and sat upright, still hugging the covers around me, and stretched out an arm into the comparative chill of my bedroom to reach my letter. I recognised the handwriting on the envelope immediately- it was that of my friend Elladora Rosier, the letters large and cheerfully rounded. I excitedly broke the seal and opened it out, beginning to read the letter.

_Dear Meda,_

_Just a note to see how you're getting on at home. France remains lovely, as always, although I swear that father and Evan become more distant by the day. They so rarely seem to spend time with us at the moment, instead taking long walks up in the mountains which on which they refuse to allow me to join them (which infuriates me, but there you go)._

_The weather is perfect, however: beautiful bright sunshine, although it is often a little too hot for my taste. The area is very beautiful, however, and I know you would appreciate it if you could see it._

_Let me know how you are, and how your sisters are getting on. How's Bella these days- is she engaged yet? If not, it must only be a matter of time. Have you been to many parties?_

_Affectionately yours,_

_Dora._

I put the letter on my desk and began to dress, making a mental note to reply later. I had no idea how I would explain to her that I was engaged. I couldn't imagine her reaction either, except that I knew she would be shocked and most likely unhappy. Much as I was feeling now…

I gave myself a small shake. I was being childish and stupid: I was engaged to a perfect man- rich, handsome and chivalrous. Many girls would kill to be in my position. And with that thought, I went downstairs, hoping that breakfast would improve my outlook.


	2. Chapter 2

The last week of the holidays seemed to last forever. I had my trunk almost completely packed by Wednesday night, even then I knew it was unnecessary. I wanted to get away from the continual reminders of my engagement, and enjoy the last year of freedom I would have.

On Thursday night, the Parkinsons threw a ball, which mother deemed that I was by now old enough to attend. Cissy found this incredibly exciting, but I thought that I would probably enjoy myself more curled up in bed with a book.

Even I had to admit that the room looked wonderful, though. Glittering crystal chandeliers hung from the ceiling, tall arrangements of white and silver flowers were scattered around the room and the walls were lined with windows, the curtains thrown open to allow the sound of the tinkling fountains in the grounds to mingle with the music of the band.

The clothes which some of the guests wore were even more incredible. I watched Abraxius Malfoy stride past in robes of a rich green on which thousands of embroidered silver snakes slithered and swirled. One woman even wore a hat crowned with a real, live occamy: a kind of winged snake which sat and flicked it's tongue at the other guests in a bored way. I couldn't help but pity it. My own robes were less ostentatious- white silk cut in a fairly simple style, although mother had made sure that they came from one of the most expensive (and apparently best) robemakers in London.

I knew that I should be circulating, trying to live up to my robes and family name, but instead I huddled in the corner. I was a little overwhelmed by the spectacle. I had danced my first dance on arriving with Lucius, of course, but it wouldn't have been proper to have spent the entire evening with him before we were married. I could see him now, deep in conversation with two women. I looked away hurriedly, and tried to find a friendly face in the crowd.

My eyes alighted on Bellatrix, huddled in a corner with a girl called Cecilia Wilkes. This wasn't especially surprising- the two of them had been good friends since Bella's first year at Hogwarts. They seemed to be having some kind of conflict, though- Bella's eyes blazed, despite Wilkes' hand laid calmingly on her arm. Wilkes seemed to hiss something at Bella, and Bella yanked her arm away. I had just begun to push my way through the crowd towards them, thinking to try and catch what the argument was about, when a voice spoke at my shoulder. I jumped nearly out of my skin.

"Andromeda, why aren't you talking to anyone?" It was mother. "What kind of impression do you think it makes if you stand in the corner and won't make the effort to converse? At your very first ball, no less! Come on." She gripped my shoulder tightly and pulled me towards a group of women I knew vaguely. I smiled politely at their jokes and tried to look interested, while sneaking a glance at the corner where Bella had been.

She was gone, and Wilkes had gone with her. I stared around the room for her as discretely as I could, but I couldn't see either of them anywhere. Disappointed, I turned back to the conversation at hand- just in time, because I was being congratulated warmly on my engagement.

I forced a smile. "Thank you all so much. I honestly can't believe my luck either."

"Can we see the ring?"

"Of course," I said, extending my hand to show them the band of gold and the large diamond which glittered there. They all cooed about how beautiful it was, and I smiled dutifully before changing the subject. "Anyway, speaking of good news- am I right in believing that you have some of your own, Clarinda? I'm sure you deserve my congratulations far more than I deserve yours." Clarinda had recently announced that she was pregnant, with her second child.

As everyone excitedly clamoured to add their congratulations to mine, the conversation turned to children. I took the opportunity to scan the room more carefully for my sister- but she was nowhere to be seen, and neither was Wilkes. I forced my attention back to the conversation at hand, but I was troubled. I couldn't shake the conviction that there was something going on with Bella.

*

Lucius came to speak to me again later that evening, taking my hand and planting a gentle kiss on it. "Enjoying the ball, my darling?" he asked, his deep grey eyes locking onto mine.

"Yes, thank you," I said. "And you?"

"I am, although I must say I wish I was able to spend more of it with you. I know that one can never have too many acquaintances, but I do sometimes feel as though I wouldn't mind having a few less."

"Yes," I said, thinking of the many mindless conversations I'd had that evening.

"Are you sure you're alright?" he asked. "You seem… preoccupied."  
"Sorry," I said hastily. "I was just wondering where Bella was- I haven't seen her much tonight."

"I wouldn't worry too much," Lucius said. "From what I know of her, your sister's more than capable of looking after herself."  
"Hmm… I suppose so," I said. It occurred to me that this was probably the reason why he'd proposed to me, and not my older sister- she could look after herself, whilst I was malleable and sure to obey my husband.

"Anyway, the hour grows late and I wanted to ask you for another dance before the ball draws to a close. May I have your hand for the next song?"

"Of course," I said, smiling. We made conversation for a few more minutes, and then the song that had been playing drew to a close and I allowed him to lead me onto the dance floor. I could feel the jealous eyes of more than a few other women on me, and I couldn't help but enjoy it.

The song which began to play was a slow one, and so we swayed slowly around the dancefloor. I wasn't much of a dancer, despite years of lessons, but Lucius was brilliant: good enough that he was able to cover my mistakes whilst looking graceful himself. We were close enough that I could pick up the slightest hint of expensive cologne. He kept his grey eyes on me the whole time, a slight smile curving the edges of his lips as if I was the only girl in the world. Despite my reservations about being engaged I found that I couldn't look away. He really did have quite nice eyes…

Those eyes remained in my head for the rest of the evening, and I lay in bed remembering our last dance, with my head spinning. I barely registered the fact that Bella hadn't come home yet, and I didn't even notice my mother's fury at her disappearance and complete lack of respect. I drifted off to sleep with a smile on my face. Maybe marriage wouldn't be so bad after all…


	3. Chapter 3

The morning after the ball, I came downstairs to find a stony silence at the breakfast table. My mother and Bella were positioned at opposite ends of the table, glaring into untouched bowls of porridge. Cissy sat in the middle, looking as though she wished desperately to be elsewhere. All three looked up immediately when I came in, and mother launched into a tirade about Bella.

"Andromeda," she said, before I had even sat down. "What time do you think your sister came home last night?" I could tell it wasn't her first outburst that morning.

"Um… I don't know," I said.

"Three o'clock in the morning, that's when!" She paused, seemingly waiting for me to take her side against my sister, then repeated, "_Three_ o'clock in the morning!"

I snuck a sideways glance at Bellatrix, who was glaring at her porridge so furiously I wondered that it didn't spontaneously combust. "Oh," I said noncommittally. I felt trapped. I didn't want to end up in Bella's bad books- but then, I didn't want to annoy mother, either. They could both make my life very unpleasant for the remainder of the summer.

"She didn't even think to worry how I felt. Oh no, she had far more important things on her mind. Things she doesn't feel need to be shared with the rest of us."  
"Mother, I'm twenty-one now," Bella said, finally looking up from her porridge. "I don't need to notify you of my whereabouts every second of the day anymore, surely?"  
Mother's nostrils flared. "Don't you take that tone with me! You'll answer to your parents for as long as you're living with them, girl- and I don't see much hope of you getting married in the near future, with the way you behaved last night!"

"The way I behaved last night?" Bellatrix snapped. "You just said that you had no idea what I was doing! How can you pass judgement on my behaviour?"

"Don't be smart with me, girl!" Mother snapped. "I certainly didn't notice you dancing!"

"Maybe there are some things more important than husbands!" Bella snapped back. "I know that you three can't see anything beyond the next dance, but _I_ do. If everyone behaved the way you do, there wouldn't be any men of pure blood _left _to marry!"

"Don't you speak to me like that!" Mother's wand was in her hand, a snarl on her face as she began to get to her feet.

Bellatrix was already up and rushing for the door. "I can see the mess the wizarding race is in, and I intend to do something about it!" The front door slammed.

Mother sat down again. "Well, of all the insolent-" she began, furiously, and then transferred her anger to us. "Cissy, don't gape so! You look like a fish- it's most unladylike. And Andromeda, did you bother to brush your hair this morning? Or are you hoping that Lucius aspires to a wife who resembles an overworked bowtruckle?"

We both murmured apologies and started eating in silence. A few minutes later mother got up and stormed away from the table. Cissy and I exchanged looks, listening to her storming up the stairs. Cissy and I exchanged glances as we heard her steps in the hallway above our heads. A door slammed.

"I think it might be a good idea to keep out of her way for a few hours," I said in a low voice. "Shall we see if we can go to Diagon Alley this morning?"

Cissy looked relieved. "Good idea. I want to pick up a few things before we go back to school anyway. But you can be the one to ask mother."

I glanced at the ceiling. At that moment, there was another muffled thud. "On second thoughts, maybe that wasn't such a good idea…"  
"Go on, Meda. She loves you at the moment, now you're engaged."

I raised my eyebrows slightly. "Cissy, She just compared me to an overworked bowtruckle."

"Please, Meda? You'll be fine. And we can go to Fortescue's after we've shopped- this might be our last chance this summer for one of his sundaes…"

Now that was a temptation that I couldn't refuse. Florean Fortescue's sundaes were the best in the world- well worth risking mother's wrath for. "Fine. But if she kills me, I want them to play Debussy at my funeral, alright?"

Cissy grinned with relief. "You'll be fine. Just think of the ice cream."

I stood up and walked towards the door, then paused briefly, "If I don't come back, take care of Celandine." Celandine was my owl.

"Don't be so melodramatic, Meda. See you in a minute."

I sighed melodramatically and left the room, following mother upstairs. Unlike mother, however, my footsteps were silent: completely absorbed in the thick carpet.

"Mother?" I called softly, reaching the top of the stairs. There was no response, so I called again- a little louder this time. "Mother?" I padded down the hallway a little.

"You'll have to call a bit louder than that- a cat couldn't hear you," a portrait of one of our great aunts remarked sarcastically. "She's in Bellatrix's room, however. I suggest you knock- _audibly_ this time."

"Thanks," I said. I went down the hall to Bellatrix's room, took a deep breath and knocked. "Mother?"

"Is that you, Andromeda?"

"Yes," I said. I took another deep breath, steeling myself, and pushed open the door.

Mother was sat in a chair at Bellatrix's desk, going through her drawers. "You wouldn't believe the disarray your sister keeps her things in. Honestly, you'd think she was a common mudblood."

I didn't dare ask what she was looking for. "Yes," I said, thinking it best to agree with whatever she said. "Er- Cissy and I were thinking we would go to Diagon Alley this morning," I said in a rush. "I mean, just as long as you aren't averse to the idea. We both need a few things before we go back to school."

Mother narrowed her eyes at me. "I took you both shopping last week for school things."

"Yes, but I've- broken my favourite quill since. And Mrs Carrow recommended a book about ettiquette that I'd really like to try and read before my engagement goes any further," I said in a rush. As I'd hoped, her resistance disappeared as soon as I mentioned my engagement.

"I suppose so," she said, frowning. "But don't let your sister get into trouble or buy anything too frivolous. You know what that girl's like."

"I won't, mother," I said. "Thank you."

I backed out of the room and into the hallway again, shutting the door behind me with relief. I walked faster going back down the hallway, briefly stopping in my room to grab my purse, and then almost ran down the stairs. The atmosphere in the house suddenly seemed unbearably oppressive. "Ready?" I asked Cissy.

"Yep," she said cheerfully, handing me the pot of Floo Powder which was kept in the cupboard by the fireplace. "You go first." I took a big handful of it and threw it into the flames, which immediately turned a deep emerald green. I stepped into them and said clearly, "Diagon Alley!" I kept my eyes open as the familiar spinning feeling took hold of me, savouring the chance to peek into other people's lives. A family eating breakfast, a man writing a letter and a couple embracing against the oven spun past me- and then the fire spat me out into Flourish and Blott's.

The shop was crowded, mostly with harassed-looking parents clutching Hogwart's book lists and trying to keep overexcited children under control. Seconds later, the flames behind me flared up again as Cissy arrived. "Can we go to Madame Primpernelle's first?"

"Definitely!" I agreed. I wasn't usually interested in beauty products, but I could never pass up a visit to Madame Primpernelle's shop. It was always full of delicious smelling perfumes and brightly coloured beautifying products- not to mention the customers, slender and glamorous women who glimmered in expensive clothes and left trails of exotic scents behind them. If I'd been on my own I would have been happy to linger in the bookstore first, but Cissy wasn't much of a reader and today the shop was too hot and crowded to encourage casual browsing.

The two of us spent ages in Madame Primpernelle's, playing with the perfume samples, covering our nails in Coruscating Charms and excitedly browsing the potions. Next we moved on to Madame Malkins and to Twilflit and Tattings, where we drooled over gorgeous sets of robes that neither of us really had the confidence or the occasion to wear. I dragged Cissy into the Magical Menagerie, where we both bought bags of owl treats and cooed over an adorable yellow kitten in a basket by the door, and she made me come with her to several more beauty product boutiques. Finally, exhausted, we headed for Florean Fortescue's.

We pushed open the door and stepped into the delightfully cool and shady interior of the small café. It was busy, but I could see a single table empty by the window. I had just begun to walk towards it when I heard someone greet Cissy behind me.

"Oh, hi!" she replied, in a high pitched voice. I turned and saw a blush spreading across her pale cheeks as she looked down at a boy with a pale face and dark hair sitting with two friends. I recognised him from the Slytherin Common Room, although he was a few years younger than me.

"How was your summer?" he asked.

"Great, thanks," Cissy said. "Yours?"

"Good, yeah." He pointed out an empty chair at their table. "Care to join us?"  
Cissy glanced at me slightly.

"Go ahead. I'll be fine," I said, meaning it. Cissy obviously liked this boy, and I was more than happy with my own company.

"You're sure?" she asked uncertainly.

"We can fit in a chair for you too, if you like," the boy said, although he didn't look particularly enthused by the idea.

"No, don't worry about it," I said.

"You don't mind?"

"Not at all."

Cissy hesitated some more. "Really?"

"Really."

"Really really?" she asked.

I rolled my eyes and couldn't help smiling. "Go ahead." She nervously took the seat at their table. As I continued to push my way towards the empty table by the window, I heard him asking what he could get her and Cissy resisting his offer, before their words were lost in the buzz of chatter filling the café.

I pulled out the rickety wooden chair to find that someone had left a book on it. I sat down and excitedly studied my find, after glancing around as if wondering whether the actual owner was going to step up and claim it. The cover said "_Pride and Prejudice_ by Jane Austen". I curiously opened it onto the first page and began to read. By the time the waitress came to take my order (a chocolate and raspberry sundae whirl, with extra sauce), I was engrossed. I quicly lost myself in yhe world of the book: a world I quickly came to realise was a world of muggles- and yet, it was so very close to the world I knew that I couldn't help but be amused. I glanced up once to see Cissy stick her tongue out at the boy and steal a spoonful of his sundae (despite the huge sundae of her own sitting in front of her). The rest of the morning passed quickly. We finally left as the café became even more crowded with the late lunchtime rush. I hid the book in my bag, and Cissy seemed not to have noticed that I'd been reading. She was more excited the boy she'd met, and full of the fact that he'd paid for her ice cream and promised to buy her one at his favourite place in Hogsmeade as soon as he could ("he says that the sundaes aren't quite as good as Fortescue's, but they do the best sticky buns in the world!"). I couldn't help but smile as Cissy chattered on- at least one of us seemed to be happy in love.

As soon as I could, I slipped upstairs to continue to reading. By the time I came down for breakfast the next morning, I'd finished the book and was ready to flip back to the start and read it again.


	4. Chapter 4

Saying goodbye to mother at the train station was a cold affair. She was still furious with Bellatrix, and as a consequence snapped at Cissy and I constantly all morning. When we finally reached the station, she looked us both up and down critically.

"Andromeda, you've managed to get mud on the hem of your robes already. How you cope when you're at school, I don't know. I hope you don't intend to go around looking like a ragamuffin all term. You're representing Lucius as well as the House of Black now, you know."  
"Yes, Mother," I said. "I'll be sure to behave myself appropriately."

She pursed her lips disapprovingly. "Well, I hope so." She turned to my sister. "And Narcissa- you might not be engaged yet, but the same rules apply to you. I expect you both to do well this term. I certainly don't want to hear that you're following your sister's example."

I didn't bother to point out that Bella had done brilliantly at school- taking more subjects than most people thought was possible and getting top marks in all of them through a combination of talent, caffeine and barely leaving he library for her entire NEWT year.

"No, mother," Cissy and I said, itching to get away.

She frowned and passed a critical gaze over us again, before giving first me and then Cissy a stiff hug. "I hope so. Be sure to write. And Meda- make sure you write to Lucius as well."

I nodded. "Of course. I can hardly wait to receive his replies."

"Goodbye, then," Mother said.

"Goodbye, mother," I said, barely managing to keep the obvious relief from my voice.

"Bye," Cissy said too, and I could tell she felt the same. We both pulled our trunks across the platform quickly, hoping to get away before mother could find anything else to criticise. Neither of us dared look back.

Cissy quickly found a group of her friends and went to join them, but it took me a little longer to find Elladora. Just as I was about to give up and try to find a carriage without her, though, I saw her push her way through the crowds ahead of me.

"Dora!" I called. She glanced around, missing me completely. "Dora!" I called again, and this time she saw me immediately. We both grinned at each other and pulled our trunks across the platform to hug.

"Where were you?" she asked.

"Where were _you_? I've been looking for ages," I responded. "C'mon, we'd better go and find a compartment- I don't want to end up in one full of first years again."

Dora shuddered at the memory of our journey the previous year, and the two of us began to walk towards the shining scarlet steam engine. "So how was your summer?" she demanded. "I barely heard from you at all- what've you been doing? What happened?"

"I'll tell you when we find a compartment," I said. I still hadn't told her about my engagement, and I didn't want to try and explain it over the noise and bustle of the platform. Also, I was more than happy to put off the moment for a little longer.

"Why didn't you write more? Are you annoyed at me?" she demanded.

"No, of course not. Why would I be?" I dragged my trunk onto the train, pushing past a knot of squealing second year Gryffindors to find an empty compartment. I shoved my trunk roughly under the seat and threw myself down on the seat. "Wow, it feels good to be going back. I can't believe this is the last time we'll do this journey."

"I know! Isn't it scary?" Dora agreed. "But you don't get away that easily- tell me why you haven't been responding to my letters. What's been happening?"

I took a deep breath and forced myself to look at her. "Dora- I'm engaged." I stared at my hands, hating the way the words sounded.

"What?" she gasped. "Engaged? To who?" Then she burst out laughing. "Ok, you got me for a moment there. You actually looked serious. What's really been happening? Is it Bella?"

"I'm not joking. I'm really engaged. Although Bella's been acting weird too." I sighed again. "Honestly, I thought that summer was supposed to be _relaxing_." She still looked doubtful, so I showed her the finger on which my ring glittered. "Look," I said glumly. "Actually, that reminds me- now mother can't see me, I'm going to take it off." I slipped off the ring with relief, carefully stowing it in a locked compartment of my trunk.

I looked up to find Dora was staring at me intensely. "You really aren't joking, are you?"

I shook my head.

"Wow…"

I nodded, slowly and sadly.

"Do you mind if I ask- who? Why?"

"Lucius Malfoy. And… I don't know. He's a perfect match for me. My family want it. I- I don't know."

"But you barely know him, and we're so young! You can't love him, surely."

I shook my head mutely. "Please, can we talk about something else? How's your brother?"

She pulled a face. "I've barely seen him, to be honest. But I'm a bit worried about him and father. I think they might be involved in… something."

"Like what?"

"No idea." She paused and pulled another face. "I'm probably imagining it, I suppose. I just have a bad feeling about things, with the way they've both been behaving. Still, it's none of my business, I suppose…"

I sighed. "Something good must have happened to one of us over the summer, surely?"  
Elladora grinned. "Of course it did- I've had loads of time to work on my novel, for one thing. I finally finished the first draft!"

"Oh wow!" I said. "Do I get to see it?"

Dora gave an exaggerated shudder. "As if! It's still dire- I need to lock it in a drawer for a few months, until I can bear to edit it."  
"Oh go on… At least tell me what it's about."  
Dora shook her head emphatically. "Definitely not."

I wheedled with her some more without success, and then we moved on to discussing the books we'd read over the summer- although even with Dora, I didn't quite dare mention _Pride and Prejudice_. The rest of the journey passed pleasantly, though. I had to go to the Prefect's compartment briefly to receive my duties for the next year, but I got away as quickly as I could so that I could have a chance to catch up with Dora. We both bought vast amounts of sweets when the trolley came round and made ourselves so much at home in the carriage that I was disappointed when the train finally pulled into Hogsmeade station and we had to move.

It was worth it once we got up to the castle, though. The Great Hall was decked with the usual start of year decorations: huge banners of the house animals hanging from the four walls, with streamers and candles in the house colours suspended in the air above the table. Above those, the ceiling was beautiful, a deep navy blue specked with brilliant white stars. Dora and I sat through the Sorting in absolute silence for the first time ever, not even giggling when one boy's name was announced to be Merle Insballs. We both knew that we were drinking in the scene for the last time.

When it was over, Dumbledore stood to address the mass of students. His usually smiling face was grave, and his blue eyes lacked their characteristic twinkle as he began to speak.

"And so another year begins, and not a day too soon! I see that many of you have acquired quite spectacular suntans this year- you'll end up as wrinkly as me in a few years time." For the first time that evening a smile lit his face, as a laugh rippled through the student body.

Then the smile vanished again. "On a more serious note, those of you who read the _Daily Prophet_- and many who don't-will undoubtedly have heard about some rather disturbing events over the summer. Before we tuck in to what the House Elves assure me will be a truly splendid feast, I would like to ask that you do not allow these kinds of events to spill into the way you behave at school." He paused and looked around the room. "There will always be those who believe themselves to be different, and those who will go to rather unpleasant lengths to support their beliefs. However, as students of Hogwarts I hope you will find yourselves able to rise above this."

He surveyed the hall slowly, his eyes travelling over the students slowly enough that we all felt as though his gaze focused specifically on us. I noticed a few people at the Slytherin table fidget uncomfortably. And then Dumbledore's face creased once more into a smile. "And now- let the feast begin! I don't believe I can bear to make myself wait another second for a large helping of our delightful Hogwart's roast parsnips!"

He sat down to a flurry of applause. "Hear, hear!" Elladora said, grinning as the golden serving dishes on the table suddenly filled. "I'm starving!"  
"Yeah," I agreed. "It must be at least an hour since we last stuffed our faces to the bursting!"

Elladora laughed, and began to heap chips onto her plate before smothering them in gravy. "I haven't been able to have chips all summer- mother's worried that chips will spoil my marriage prospects." She rolled her eyes, then glanced at me. "I suppose you don't need to worry about that anymore, at least."

I paused with my hands halfway to a bowl of sausages, my appetite suddenly disappearing. "No. I have to worry about what wedding dress I'll fit into, and making sure I'm able to look after a house." I began to pull my hand back from the sausages.  
"Sorry, I didn't think" Elladora said. "C'mon- we're back at school now. Let's try and forget about our families, shall we? We don't have to listen to them for at least three months."  
I forced a smile. "Yeah. I suppose so." I reached for the sausages once again, a little more slowly this time. But by the time Elladora had regaled me with hilarious anecdotes about the muggle baker in the French village where she'd stayed, I'd fully regained my appetite and was able to heap second helpings onto my plate as though I had not a care in the world. And when the first course vanished and dessert appeared, my appetite was almost enough to match Elladora's as we excitedly piled cakes, mousses and pies onto our plates.

That night, I drifted off to sleep with a smile on my face and a ridiculous amount of food in my stomach. I loved Hogwarts.

_A/N: Thanks for reading this far- if anyone has! As always, reviews are hugely (and I mean hugely) appreciated._


	5. Chapter 5

I woke up the next morning to the shrill ring of my alarm clock. Dora's bed was already empty. The other two girls who shared our dormitory, Katherine Vaisley and Eugenia Franklin, were still fast asleep. I didn't wake them: I knew that they'd both stayed up far later than Dora and I, chatting to some girls from the year below in the Common Room, and they rarely made it down to breakfast anyway. The absence of Dora was more worrying, but I assumed that I'd see her in the Great Hall when I went downstairs. I quickly pulled on my school robes and headed downstairs.

The hall was full of the usual early morning sounds: muted chatter and the clink of cutlery on plates. I quickly spotted Dora at the far end of table, a book propped open against a pot of tea, and sat down opposite her. "You're up early," I remarked.

She looked up from her book and smiled. "I know. I woke up early and it was such a gorgeous day that I went for a walk. Timetables are here, by the way," she said, passing me mine.

I glanced over it. Monday was a busy day, but I was pleased to see that I had plenty of free periods later in the week. "Do we have many frees together?" I asked.

"Not many, no," she said. "Probably a good thing- I might actually get some work done this year."

"Or you might just come up with even more pointless to avoid it," I suggested.

She grinned at me. "That's more likely, isn't it?"

The subject of my engagement didn't come up again until that evening. Dora and I were sat by the fire after dinner, comfortably full after a delicious dinner of chicken and ham pie, peas and mashed potato. It was so good that Dora had thirds- to Eugenia's disgust.

"Meda…" Dora began cautiously. "About your engagement…"

"What about it?" I asked sharply.

She faltered a little. "Well- you haven't mentioned it to anyone at school but me, as far as I know. And- Meda, you can't hide from it forever. People are going to find out."

I glared at her. "Maybe they will, eventually. But the wedding won't be until the summer at the earliest- surely I can have a few more months of being myself, rather than property of Lucius Malfoy?"

She shrugged. "I suppose it's up to you- but…" She bit her lip, paused, then shrugged. "Sorry. I'm just worried. Never mind."

*

The next few days passed pleasantly enough, with the beautiful weather holding and the temperatures remaining high. We slipped into a routine where Dora would rise early, go for a walk and be sitting at the breakfast table with a book by the time I got up. Eugenia and Katherine would sleep until the beginning of their first class. So I wasn't surprised when I woke one Friday morning to find Dora's bed empty, as usual. When I got down to the Great Hall, however, I realised that something was wrong.

Dora was sitting in her usual seat, but there was no heaped plate of breakfast food in front of her. She didn't appear to be eating anything at all, and there was no empty plate to indicate that she'd already eaten. I sat down in a seat next to her. "Are you alright?"

She turned to face me and I saw that her eyes were ringed with red. "I've been better."

"What's wrong?" I asked. There was a crumpled piece of parchment in her hand- presumably a letter containing bad news. "What happened?"

"It's my father…" she said. Her voice was little more than a whisper. "He's been arrested."

I put my arms around her. "He'll be ok. I'm sure it's a mistake."

She shook her head. "It's not a mistake."

I hugged her more tightly. "You don't know that."

"That's not the worst bit. He was caught-" Her voice caught in her throat. "-Caught at the scene of a murder, and the last spells his wand had done were the Unforgivables." A quiet sob escaped her. "It was a muggle family. Two parents, two children. _Children._ And he helped kill them."

I gave her another squeeze and then pulled away, pouring her a cup of coffee. "I'm sure there's a rational explanation." But I felt a shiver go down my spine- Dora's father was my uncle on my mother's side. "Come on. Have something to eat. It'll make you feel better."

She shook her head vehemently. "I feel sick."

I wondered if I should try and force her to eat, but decided against it. Instead, I just hugged her some more, helplessly, wishing there was something more that I could do.

She glanced around the hall. "Oh Merlin, it's going to be in the _Prophet_, isn't it? Can we go somewhere else before the mail arrives? Outside?"

"Yeah, of couse," I said.

Dora stood up a little shakily. "Thank you."

I grabbed a few slices of toast, quickly added a dollop of marmalade to each and followed her from the hall. She walked so quickly that I had to almost run to keep up, heading for a bench by the lake where we sometimes sat in summer. There was a chill breeze, and the early morning sunshine had little warmth in it. I shivered slightly as I sat down next to Dora, but she seemed to be immune to the cold. I gave her another quick hug before beginning to eat my toast. "Do you want to talk about it?" I asked in response to her silence.

She shook her head, staring out over the lake. "Not really."

I finished my toast silently. We sat there until the bell rang, and then went inside to our first lesson- Dora was reluctant to go, although I was relieved to get into the warmth again. In the Entrance Hall, we hugged goodbye and headed to our different classes. I noticed a gang of Gryffindors glancing at us and whispering, and thought that Dora had most likely been right about the story being in the _Prophet_. I gave Dora a smile. "You'll be fine, OK? Don't let anyone get to you."

She nodded, a little distractedly, and we went our separate ways.

*

By lunchtime, it was obvious to me that the story of Elladora's brother had spread, whether it was in the _Prophet_ or not. Everywhere I went, I could feel eyes on me and hear the whispers ("That's the best friend, isn't it?" "Yeah, that murdering scum for a dad…" "Her uncle, I heard…") I tried my best to ignore the gossip, but I couldn't help but worry about how Dora would take it.

I poured myself a glass of pumpkin juice and glanced around the hall again, hoping that Dora would arrive soon so that I could be certain she wasn't locked in one of the toilets crying. A group of fifth years passing by gave me dirty looks, as though I could in some way be responsible for the actions of my uncle and my best friend's father. I was glaring back at them venomously when a paper slammed down on the table in front of me.

"Look at that," Dora said flatly. "He made the front page, and the Gryffindor's couldn't _wait_ to let me know about it."

I scanned the article briefly, feeling a shiver run down my spine as I read the description of the crime. Dora hadn't filled me in on the details: the muggle family had apparently been tortured for hours before they had been killed. I couldn't help but remember all the times I'd slept over at Dora's house: her father had always seemed normal enough, and it was terrifying to think of what he was really capable of. It was equally horrifying to realise that I was related to someone who could do such things. I pushed these thoughts aside and gave her a tight hug.

"The Gryffindors are idiots," I told her as I pulled away. "We knew that already."  
"Ignoring them is easier said then done." She began to pile mashed potatoes and sausages onto her plate, and smothered them in gravy. She stabbed at a sausage furiously, as if imagining it to be a Gryffindor's face. "Don't they realise that this is horrible enough without having to deal with their idiocy as well?"

Once again, I found myself unsure what to say to that. Instead, I helped myself to lunch and began to eat, glaring at another group of girls as they whispered on their way past us. Luckily, Dora was too busy attacking he food to notice this time.

The whispers and the glances remained the same for the rest of the week, although both Katherine and Eugenia (the other two girls in our dorm) expressed insincerely melodramatic sympathy. It was exhausting not to be able to eat a meal without being looked at like something horrible on the bottom of a Gryffindor's shoe, and I hated to see what it was doing to Dora. The weather remained perfect, though- sunny and unseasonably warm- and when I had a free period by myself on Friday afternoon, I took the chance to escape to the grounds with a book.

I walked to Dora and my bench and sat down, glancing around to check that I was alone. I was- despite the fine weather, the grounds were deserted. Most people were still in lessons, I supposed. Furtively, I opened my bag and pulled out my (by now rather battered and well read) copy of _Pride and Prejudice_, thinking to lose myself in it just one more time. I hadn't dared so much as look at it since getting to school.

I glanced around to check that no-one was coming out of the castle, and then began to read. Soon I was deeply absorbed in the book- so deeply absorbed that when a voice spoke from behind me, I almost jumped out of my skin.

"I don't mean to be creepy, but I couldn't help noticing that you're reading _Pride and Prejudice_."

I spun around quickly, to see a boy standing behind me. I had been so engrossed in my book that I hadn't heard him coming up behind me at all. I recognised him as Ted Tonks, a Ravenclaw prefect in my year. He was stocky and not particularly tall, with fair hair spilling messily into his face and a smile that was rather more friendly than I liked to receive from a mudblood. I didn't return his smile.

"It's not really any of your business," I said coldly, despite the blush spreading across my face. How could I have been so stupid as to read such a book in a public place? I stood up and shoved the book into my bag so violently that the front cover ripped halfway off. I began to stalk away across the grounds, heading back to the castle- but to my horror, Tonks followed me. "Hey, don't be embarrassed about it- I love Austen and I'm a _boy_."

"How enthralling," I said icily. "Could you stop following me please?"

He refused to take the hint, though, walking with me towards the castle. "Sorry, have I upset you?"

"Not at all," I said sarcastically. "There's nothing I like better than being interrupted by freaks while I'm reading."

His friendly smile slipped. "Ok, sorry. I'll let you get on with… Going wherever you're going." He stopped, and to my horror I found that I was almost disappointed. A part of me, a hatefully traitorous part, would have liked nothing better than to sit with him by the lake and talk about _Pride and Prejudice_. Maybe he could even suggest other, similar books that I could read… Much as I loved it, I was beginning to feel that I probably knew _Pride and Prejudice_ a little too well- I hardly had to read the words anymore- just remembering them and repeating them to myself as my eyes skimmed the page. But a moment later, I was horrified with myself for even thinking such thoughts: he was a muggle, and the book was a muggle book. I was a witch, a _Black_ no less.

I walked quickly up to the castle and headed straight to the library, thinking that I might expunge some of my guilt by starting on my Ancient Runes essay. At the same time, though, I couldn't get rid of the part of me which whispered that I would have been far happier discussing books with the mudblood boy. The thought disgusted me. What on earth would my family say?

_A/N: Thanks for reading, and if you have another few moments, please leave a review. I really appreciate them all._


	6. Chapter 6

Eventually, to my huge relief, the rest of the school got bored of gossiping about Wendell Rosier. They moved on to other topics: Hogwart's couples, Quidditch and complaints about the teachers. I was still worried about Dora though- she was trying to act like her usual cheerful self, but every once in a while the façade would slip and she would shout or look as though she was on the verge of tears.

I was worrying about her as one Friday night, as I patrolled the corridors on Prefect duty. I was in my own little world, so it was a surprise to come around the corner and nearly bump straight into Ted Tonks. We both stopped walking, and there was an awkward moment as we both tried not to remember our encounter by the lake.

"Uh- hi," he said, politely.

"Hi," I said, not quite able to bring myself to sound rude.

"Looks like we both drew the short straw, then," he said.

"What do you mean?" I asked.

"Prefect duty on a Friday night." He pulled a face. "You know- we're teenagers, we should be out partying or something."

"Right," I said. "Well, I don't think I'd be partying in any case."

"No, me neither," he admitted. "I'd probably just make an excuse to go to bed early so that I could read under the covers. I'm pathetic."

"I think you've just called me pathetic," I said.

"Sorry," he said. "But it's not pathetic if you do it- you're a pretty girl. You can get away with it."

"Right," I said. I couldn't help but smile.

"Sorry- too cheesy, right?" he said.

"Yes," I admitted. But I smiled. Then, suddenly, I remembered who he was: a muggle born. I shouldn't even have stopped for him. "Anyway, I should get on with my patrolling," I said stiffly.

"Yeah- if we can't have fun, we'd better make sure that no-one else can, hadn't we?" He grinned. "See you around."

I managed not to smile back, but it was difficult. "Yes, bye," I replied, after a few moments pause. I pushed past him in the darkness and on into the corridor beyond. I didn't see him, or anyone else, for the rest of my patrol. A traitorous part of me was disappointed. I sort of liked Ted.

Dora was still up when I got back to the dormitory, sitting by the dying fire with a book.

"Hi," I said, sitting down on the armchair opposite her.

"Hiya," she said. "Guess what? Evan wrote to me- he wants to meet me in Hogsmeade this weekend!" She looked happier than she had in ages.

"Great!" I said. I was glad that she was happier, although a little disappointed as well. It meant that I would have no-one to go to Hogsmeade with: Cissy would be going with her new boyfriend (as she couldn't wait to tell anyone who would listen), and I didn't think that I could stomach a day of tagging along with Eugenia and Katherine. "Any reason?"

"I don't think so- he just wants to talk. He was so distant over the summer, I was sure he was wrapped up in something dodgy. But I guess I was just worrying too much- it was probably just a phase."

I didn't point out that meeting Dora in Hogsmeade didn't mean that he wasn't involved in anything dodgy- it was too good to see her happy again. "That's great!" I said.

"I'm not meeting him 'til the afternoon, though, so we can still go round the shops like we planned. Oh, I can't wait to get into Honeydukes again!" Her eyes shone.

"Mmm, yeah," I agreed. "I'm not sure how many more ARithmancy lessons I can get through without getting some sugar quills."

"And it's so long since I've had gummy flobberworms!" Dora said excitedly. "Ooh, and I can get some cream bombs, and Mugnut Crunch! Anyway," she shut her book with a snap. "I think I'd better go to bed. I was only really waiting up to see if you got back safely."

The two of us brushed our teeth and went to bed, and I drifted to sleep with my head full of dreams where Tonks and I wandered the beautiful grounds of Pemberly Place in bright autumn sunshine. I woke up disgusted with myself- but nonetheless, a part of me looked forward to Friday night Prefect duty for the rest of the week.

When Friday evening finally came, though, I did everything I could to put off leaving for duty. I spent ages in our dormitory: changing my socks and robes, rearranging my drawers, arranging the books on my bedside table more neatly…

"Meda, aren't you supposed to be on Prefect duty tonight?" Dora snapped, as a stack of textbooks I'd just built came crashing down loudly. "Do you need to do that now?"

"Yeah," I said. Then I took a look around me and realised what I was doing. "Actually, no. You're right." I saw the time displayed on the clock and panicked. "Oh no, I'm late!" I was setting a terrible example to the lower years. I jammed the books I'd spent the last twenty minutes arranging so carefully into my trunk carelessly and slammed the trunk, ignoring Dora's complaints, and all but ran to the corridor where I was supposed to be beginning my patrol.

Once I got there, though, I realised that there had been absolutely no need to rush. Nothing happened for most of my patrol: I walked through the dark corridors without encountering so much as a ghost's quarrel. And then, just as I thought (with a mixture of disappointment and relief) that I wasn't going to see him, I came around a corner and nearly walked straight into Ted again. My heart leapt.

"Hey," he said. "Fancy meeting you here." He winked.

"Hello," I said. I realised that my face had broken into a smile on seeing him and forced it into what I hoped was an unconcerned expression. "How're you?"

"Great, thanks," he said. "I was wondering- I know it's quite short notice, but do you have any plans for Hogsmeade this weekend? Because if you don't, there's a really cute bookshop with a coffee shop attached that does amazing flapjacks. But if you've already made plans, that's fine too. Obviously. I mean, I expect you have, so yeah."

I couldn't help but grin at his rambling. "No, I'm sorry- I'm going with a friend."

"Oh, that's fine." A curious mix of relief and disappointment flashed across his face. It occurred to me that he could really do with learning to hide his disappointment. "Well, maybe next time. But only if you'd like."

"I'd lo-" I began to say _I'd love to_, and then remembered who I was talking to. Why was it so easy to forget that he was muggleborn? "Maybe," I said, more coldly. I knew that the right thing to do was to walk away without a backwards glance, showing him just how little I cared for people like him. But I didn't. I stayed, and found myself spending a few more minutes chatting to him.

Eventually, we both remembered that we were supposed to be patrolling and went on our way. I passed the rest of my patrol with a wide grin on my face, and for a few minutes I was just another teenage girl with a crush. It was a nice feeling- but of course, it couldn't last.


	7. Chapter 7

Dora's brother Evan was late getting to The Three Broomsticks, so the two of us ordered butterbeers and pushed our way to a tiny table in the corner. As usual, the pub was packed with Hogwarts students. The two of us chatted aimlessly about what we were going to do for the rest of the day as we sipped our drinks.

Dora sighed and took another sip of butterbeer. "I wish people would stop staring at me." She smiled as she saw Evan weaving his way towards us, clasping a tumbler with a few inches of a deep brown liquid in it. It looked like firewhiskey, but it was only ten thirty in the morning. Apparently, Dora was thinking along the same lines. "Isn't that stuff a bit strong to be drinking so early in the morning?" Dora asked, indicating the drink.

"Dora, you sound just like mother," Evan snapped at her. "I'm old enough to decide for myself."

I expected Dora to argue, but she didn't. Instead she asked, anxiously, "How is mother?"

"Absolutely _insufferable_," Evan said. "That's what I wanted to talk to you about. She really isn't coping well."

Dora looked worried and hunched closer. "What do you mean?"  
Evan gave a long sigh and launched into a long litany of complaints about their mother: she wasn't looking after the house, she never seemed to eat anything, she was barely capable of conversation. The household was apparently falling into ruin, and the house elf was losing the plot with no-one to properly control him. Dora looked more and more worried, toying with the straw in her drink.

"Is there anything I can do?" she asked finally.

"Well, you can't help manage the household while you're at school. I suppose you could try writing to her," Evan said. "I'm sure she'd appreciate hearing from you."  
"I _have_ been writing to her," Dora said accusingly. "She insists that she's coping very well, but she's worried about you."

Evan raised his eyebrows slightly. "Worried about _me_? That's a bit rich from a woman who doesn't look as though she's brushed her hair in the last month."

Dora looked as though she was about to argue back, but didn't. Evan sat back slightly, raising an eyebrow slightly as though challenging her. I glanced around the room, feeling a little embarrassed to be watching their argument. And that was when I spotted Tonks.

He was walking through the doors of the pub with two other boys. The three of them were chatting animatedly and carrying huge Zonko's bags. Ted's face broke into a grin when his eyes lighted on me. I smiled back before I could stop myself- then panicked as he said something to his friends, and started to cross the room towards me. I tried to shake my head at him, signalling that I couldn't talk, but he didn't seem to notice.

"Dora, I can't believe you're even _trying_ to argue with me!" Evan burst out at Dora at that moment. "You really do sound just like mother- and quite honestly, I don't think either of you are in a position to criticise anyone else's lifestyle! You haven't even seen her!"

"Hey," Ted said, reaching our table at last. "How's it going?"

"Great," I said coldly, wondering about the best way to get rid of him before anyone noticed that I was talking to a muggle.

"Oh, about the book-"

"What book?" I asked quickly. "Did you want something?" I glanced around to check whether anyone seemed to be noticing that I was talking to him. Dora and Evan were still bickering.

Tonks looked hurt. He followed my gaze, suddenly seeming to realise why I was so reluctant to talk. "Uh- yeah, I wanted to ask if you knew when they were, uh, going to put up the new Prefect duty rota? Normally it goes up on Saturday morning, but it wasn't-"

"No, I don't know," I interrupted. "I suggest you try again this evening."

"Uh- right. See you."

I didn't dare reply, still reluctant to show any friendliness to a muggle in front of so many people. He shot one last glance at Dora and Evan, who were both almost shouting now, and hurried away to rejoin his friends. I couldn't help but stare after him for a few seconds, almost tempted to call him back and apologise.

A moment later , my attention was drawn back to Evan as he stood angrily. "I don't have to listen to this." He drained the last inch of his firewhiskey. He pulled a letter from inside his robes and threw it onto the table. "I'd appreciate it if you'd give this to Regulus Black. I believe you both know him. There'll be trouble for all four of us if he doesn't receive it." He turned and strode away.

"Evan!" Dora called furiously after him. His step didn't so much as falter. "Evan! Don't you dare threaten me! What is it?" She started to get to her feet to run after him, but I pulled her back.

"Let him go. The two of you aren't going to be able to discuss anything sensibly today."

She sunk back into her seat, slowly and reluctantly, and I couldn't help but notice the tears in her eyes. "That bloody _idiot_!" she said furiously. "Ugh, I could kill him! I certainly won't be I delivering letters and running errands for his so-called_ friends_." Dora narrowed her eyes suspiciously at me. "And what did that boy want, anyway? Isn't he a muggle?"

I shrugged. "Yeah. Just wanted to ask me something about the Prefect rota. Idiot."

"Oh, right. Trust a muggle to not be able to sort anything out for himself," she said absentmindedly. "I can't believe Evan! I honestly don't know how he expects to be able to speak to me like that and then have me deliver letters for him." She went into a long rant about Evan and my mind wandered- torn between worry about Dora, worry about Bella; sadness that I'd probably destroyed any chance that I might have had with Tonks; and disgust that I was giving a muggle so much as a second thought.

When we finished our drinks, we left the pub (I slipped Evan's letter into my bag when Dora wasn't looking, just in case) and wandered around the shops for the rest of the day, stopping in a café for lunch. Neither of us were much in the mood for shopping or eating, though. We went back to the castle early, without even stopping to stock up on cream cakes at our favourite bakery. I spent the rest of the day trying to work on an essay and failing miserably. When I reread the sentence I'd written and realised that I'd written "_The rune Naudiz has beautiful brown eyes, with just a hint of gold-_" I scribbled it out so furiously that I ripped a gash in the parchment. I gave up on the essay then.

At dinner, Dora and I were both hungry enough from our small lunch that we ate ravenously, although neither of us felt much like talking still. After dinner I tried to read but soon gave it up as a lost cause and went to bed.

I climbed the stairs miserably- but what I found when I reached the dormitory changed my mood entirely. The hangings around my bed were shut as I'd left them, but when I climbed through them I saw that a book lay on the green pillows with a note pinned on top. I looked at the book first: a battered paperback, similar to the one I'd found in Diagon Alley what felt like a lifetime ago. This one bore the title "_Sense and Sensibility_". Delighted despite myself, my eyes turned to the note.

_Someone bought me a second copy of this, and I thought immediately of you. Maybe bump into you in Hogsmeade later? TT._

My hands twitched towards the wastebasket to throw both the book and the note away. I knew that was the sensible course to take. I don't know why I didn't- maybe I simply needed some comfort after the day I'd had. I found myself sliding both the book and Tonk's note into the bottom of my trunk, where _Pride and Prejudice_ still lay. I told myself that I was simply hiding the book- if I put it in the bin, one of my dorm-mates might notice it. Deep down, I knew that I was lying to myself. Before the week was out, I would have read the book cover to cover- and loved every word of it.


	8. Chapter 8

I woke up the next morning to find Dora's bed empty, as usual. The sky outside the window was a smudgy, dull grey, and it was still half dark. I was tempted to go straight back to bed. Instead, I dressed and went downstairs for breakfast, remembering to take the letter from Evan with me.

The Great Hall was filled with chatter and the delicious smells of bacon, toast and tea. I quickly spotted Regulus on the edge of a group of boys from his year, and walked along the Slytherin table to where he sat.

"Regulus?" I asked when he didn't notice. He spun, wide-eyed, and then relaxed when he saw me.

"Oh, it's you," he said. "What do you want?"

I rolled my eyes. "Don't sound _too_ pleased to see me."

"Sorry," he said, not sounding sorry at all. I was reminded why Sirius was my favourite cousin.

"I've got a letter for you," I said, holding out the letter to him. "Evan Rosier- my other cousin- asked me to give it to you. I don't know why."

He snatched the letter from my hand excitedly before I had even finished speaking, and examined the seal carefully. I hadn't noticed the seal until then, but it showed what looked like a skull with a long, twisting tongue extending from the mouth. There was a strange kind of hunger in his eyes for a moment, and then he seemed ot remember that I was there. He looked up. "Thanks."

"That's fine," I said. Thinking that I'd probably been neglecting my cousinly duties recently, I asked, "So how've you been?"

"Fine," he said, barely taking his eyes from the letter. "Thanks, but I'd better open this now. See you later." He stood as though to leave the Hall.

"Right," I said, a little offended. "Bye then." I moved off down the table towards Dora, half-listening to him telling his friends he'd catch up with them later. I wondered what he expected to find in the letter which was so secret that he couldn't open it in the Great Hall.

Dora looked up from her paper as I sat opposite her, and gave me her usual cheery smile. "Morning," she said. "Want a section of the paper?"

"Yes, please," I said tiredly, accepting my favourite part of the Sunday paper (the Review section) and pulling a dish of scrambled egg and two slices of toast towards myself. "Anything interesting happen today?"

Dora pulled a face. "Not really. More muggle deaths."

I had just picked up my cutlery and was about to take my first forkful of egg when an owl swept into the hall and dropped a letter right into it, splattering egg everywhere. "Ugh," I said, pulling the egg-coated letter out of my breakfast.

Dora watched the owl as it soared away. "Pretty, but it needs to work on it's aim a bit."  
"Yeah," I said. I was busy examining the letter- the address was written in large, flourishing handwriting which I didn't recognise. I didn't think that I knew anyone who would write in navy blue ink on pale pink parchment. Hesitantly, I broke the seal (dropping bits of red wax into my already ruined breakfast) and opened out the parchment.

_Dearest Andromeda,_

_I heard, somewhat belatedly, that you were permitted to visit Hogsmeade yesterday. I had hoped that you would let me know the dates of your Hogsmeade visits, as I requested previously. We have things to discuss, and I would of course have been delighted to have had the pleasure of your company for lunch. Please make an effort to inform me of future visits to the village, if it's not too much trouble._

I wanted to hex him. I could almost see the sarcasm dripping from his words. The rest of the letter was filled with mindless pleasantries.

_That aside, I hope you are having a good term. I myself have been very busy: it seems that every Ministry official wants a piece of my time at the moment, and of course I have been helping father manage the estate. _

_All my love,_

_Lucius._

I crumpled the letter up in my hand. All his love? As if, I thought bitterly. _The_ _only thing he loves is the mirror_. I shook away the thought, however, and began to serve myself another plate of breakfast to replace the one squashed by the letter.

"Bad news?" Dora asked worriedly.

"Not exactly," I said. "Just Lucius." I didn't elaborate, and I was relieved that she didn't try to make me do so.

A few weeks later, the dates of our next Hogsmeade weekend were posted on the notice board in the common room. The holidays were approaching fast and the students around me talked excitedly of all the Christmas shopping that they hoped to get done. I wished that I could join them. The last thing I wanted was an awkward day with Lucius.

"Do you think he'd find out if I 'forgot' to tell him?" I asked Dora. "Or if my owl somehow got confused and, say, took my letter to you instead?"

Dora smiled briefly, but looked worried. "He found out last time, didn't he? If you really don't want to see him, you should tell him that."

"Easy for you to say," I grumbled.

"Meda, you're engaged to him," she said seriously. "If you can't stand a single day with him, you need to break off the engagement."

"I can't," I said. I sighed. "Let's talk about something else. This is depressing." I knew she was right, but there was nothing I could do about it. I did the dutiful thing and wrote the letter to Lucius, who arranged to meet me just before lunchtime and take me to a restaurant ("At least you'll get a good meal," Dora said- but even that didn't make me feel any better.)

The day of the Hogsmeade visit dawned clear and cold. Dora and I crunched over the frosty grass on our way to the village, our breath misting in the air. It was absolutely beautiful, and I found myself noticing every detail in a way I normally didn't. I felt as though I was going to my own execution.

We reached the village a few hours before I was due to meet Lucius, so we wandered around the shops. We spent ages in Honeydukes, poked around the bookstores, and then went for a drink in the Three Broomsticks. Normally, I would have enjoyed the trip- but today my enjoyment was marred by the knowledge that I was seeing Lucius later. The time we had arranged to meet came far too fast.

He frowned at the bulging Honeydukes bag in my hand when he saw me. "That looks like a lot of sweets for someone of your age."

I found myself blushing. "Sorry. I got a little carried away."

"Well, I hope you haven't been eating them. I've booked a table at one of my favourite restaurants. I hope you like it- the tastes are rather more refined than what you appear to be used to." He shot another critical look at my Honeydukes bag.

I found myself blushing at the jibe. "Wonderful. I _love_ refined tastes." Then I realised how stupid my sentence sounded, and blushed still deeper.

Lucius cast one more sceptical look at my Honeydukes bag. "I can tell. Shall we go?" Without waiting for my response, he took my arm and began to lead me down the street. A part of me wanted to wrench away and tell him that I was perfectly capable of walking by myself- but of course I didn't. I walked alongside him like the obedient wife I would one day become.

He led me to a fairly small restaurant on one of the more expensive side streets in Hogsmeade. Almost all the tables were full, but the place was still quiet: all the conversations were held in low, muted voices and no music played in the background. We were led to our table by a house elf, smartly attired in a black pillowcase with white detailing. The elf handed us menus, and so the first few minutes weren't too bad: I was able to concentrate very hard on my menu, and neither of us spoke much.

After the elf had taken our order, however, we were left with no option but to make conversation. Lucius asked me politely about school and my family, and I answered equally politely. There were many moments of awkward silence which seemed to stretch on forever. All I could think about was the fact that I was going to spend the rest of my life with this man.

Then I asked him what he'd been up to recently, giving him a chance to talk about his favourite subject: himself. For the entirety of the meal. I didn't think that three courses and coffee had ever seemed to take so interminably long. I fixed an interested expression on my face and nodded occasionally as I allowed my mind to wander. I found my eyes straying from his face once to the window. The street was drenched in brilliant winter sunshine, and I wished that I were outside enjoying it rather than stuck in here. A group of boys wearing Hogwarts robes were walking by, talking and laughing, carrying Honeydukes bags even bigger and fuller than mine. I watched enviously for a moment. Then, with a jolt and a treacherous leap of my heart, I recognised one of them.

It was Ted Tonks. Suddenly, I was more jealous of his companions than ever.

"Andromeda, are you listening to me?"  
I pulled my attention back to Lucius with difficultly. "What? Yes, of course. I agree completely."

He raised his eyebrows slightly contemptuously. "Really?"

"Of course," I said sincerely. It was all I could do to keep my gaze wandering back to the window.

He sighed irritably. "I asked if you had ever been to Germany."  
"Oh, right," I said. I felt my cheeks going hot and red. "Sorry. Uh- no. I haven't."

"I was going to invite you to stay with my family there for a few days over the New Year period," he said irritably. "Mother and Father have borrowed a castle. They were going to invite the Crouches and perhaps the Crabbes. But if you don't even find me interesting enough to attend to for a single _meal_…"  
"No," I said quickly. "I mean, no- it's not that. I am interested in you. And I'd love to go to Germany, really. It's just- uh-" I struggled to find an excuse for my distracted attention, but I was saved the trouble by the arrival of the bill. Lucius paid with much flourishing, and I was finally able to leave.


	9. Chapter 9

The rest of term passed quickly. Far too soon, Dora and I were trudging across the grounds with the rest of the Hogwarts populace, heading for the station in Hogsmeade where we would catch the train home. Both of us were silent, dreading our returns home for different reasons.

The first thing I saw on Christmas morning was purple silk and gold embroidery. For a moment I couldn't work out where I was. Then I remembered: my family and I were staying with the Malfoy's, in the castle Lucius had mentioned, and the décor was just as ostentatious as you'd expect.

I transferred my gaze to the only part of the room which I liked: the window. It stretched from the floor to the ceiling. Through it, I could see the forest outside: dense pine trees, with their dark branches bowed down under a thick blanket of snow. I longed to be outside walking in those woods, preferably alone- but knew mother would never allow it. I couldn't face going downstairs to join her and the others at the breakfast table just yet. Instead, I lay in bed and looked at the view.

Half an hour later, a house elf wrapped in a swathe of silver fabric (probably the ugliest uniform I had ever seen) popped into existence next to my bed. "Mrs Black requests that you rise as soon as you can, and Master Malfoy is most anxious to give you his gift."

"All right," I said. "I'll be down shortly. Thanks."

I waited for it to go, reluctant to change in front of it even if it was just an elf. A moment later, it disappeared with a small pop. Reluctantly, I began to search through the wardrobe for something to wear. I settled on a set of pale green robes- surely mother couldn't find anything to criticise about those. Then I steeled myself and went downstairs.

Four families sat around the table: my family, the Malfoys, the Crabbes and the Vaisleys. "Morning," I said, taking a seat between Lucius Malfoy and Dorian Crabbe.

"Morning, my love," Lucius said.

"Andromeda, at last. We were starting to wonder if you had been carried off by goblins." Mother shot me a venomous look that left me in no doubt that she would tell me off for my late appearance when she got the chance alone.

I gave a shaky smile. "Sorry. The mountain air is so bracing that I sleep like the dead. It's a wonderful location, isn't it?" I aimed to deflect the attention from myself with a compliment. "I'm so impressed that you managed to get this place."

"Yes, well," Lucius said loftily. "Father has a lot of contacts."

I poured myself a bowl of porridge and chose a spoon from the vast array of cutlery arranged by my plate- seemingly enough for a fourteen-course banquet. "Yes. It's _such_ a shame that the Crouches were busy, though," I said.

"Yes, well," Lucius said hurriedly, quick to defend his father's importance. "Barty is most busy at the moment, trying to sort out the problems with the muggles. And doing a very good job of it, I hear. He's promised father that he'll be able to come dragon shooting in the New Year, however." Lucius told me again how Mr Crouch was tipped to be the next Minister of Magic, then moved on to telling me all about his father's other contacts. I fixed an interested expression on my face, but inside I was daydreaming about a handsome hero riding into the hall on a winged horse and sweeping me away- preferably to somewhere where they served waffles for breakfast. I was getting sick of porridge.

Almost the moment I had finished, an elf appeared at my side and bowed deeply. "Has Miss Black finished with the breakfast things? Or is there something else which Plimpy can bring her?"

"I've finished, thanks," I said.

"Very good, Miss," the elf bowed again, picked up my bowl and vanished with a slight pop.

Abraxas clapped his hands together importantly. "Well, as we seem to have _finally_ managed to finish with breakfast-" Mother cast me another dark look at this point"-I suggest we move through to the sitting room and start opening gifts."

"That sounds like a wonderful idea," my mother gushed. We moved through to the large living room, where a large pile of presents sat underneath an immense and lavishly decorated tree. Each was immaculately wrapped in expensive paper and wrapped in ribbon- the result of hours of painstaking work by house-elves, I was sure. They had already been sorted according to who they were for, so it was simply a matter of each of us finding our pile.

We opened them with many insincere exclamations of delight and exaggeratedly polite thanks. I got books from Dora and Bella, chocolate-scented bath potions from Cissy ("Bubbles that taste as good as they smell!" the label advertised, bizarrely- I didn't think I'd want to eat something I'd washed in) and lots of robes from mother. Lucius gave me a silver chain, made up of tiny interlocking butterflies and set with tiny emeralds, sapphires and rubies. It was absolutely beautiful, and for once my exclamation of delight was sincere. "Oh, thank you, Lucius!"

He smiled smugly. "Oh, it was nothing. Father's a regular at all the best jewellers, of course- Aaron Aurom was thrilled to make this specially for me."

Despite the gifts, for the rest of the day I found it difficult to get into the Christmas spirit. We all went for a brief stroll in the woods- not nearly long or solitary enough to satisfy me, although the forest was beautiful. Lunch was a feast of what seemed like hundreds of carefully prepared courses: spiced pumpkin soup, tiny caviar tarts, smoked salmon salad, expensive pate on wafer-thin toast, roast goose, Christmas pudding, sorbet, coffee and chocolates... It was all delicious, but I barely tasted it. Afterwards, we played a forced game of charades and made conversation for hours- or rather, I foisted an interested look onto my face and daydreamed as the adults made conversation. Finally, Cissy yawned widely and mother sent my sisters and me to bed. It was a relief to leave the company downstairs and retreat to my own room. My window showed the snow glowing in the bright light of the moon and stars. It was the most beautiful thing I'd seen all day- Lucius's necklace included.

I didn't sleep though. I tossed and turned in the dark, the thick covers on my bed stifling me. I tossed them off again and again, but it was too cold to sleep without them. Finally, unable to stand it any longer, I reached over to switch on the light and searched through my trunk for the thing I'd been craving all holiday.

_Sense and Sensibility_ remained exactly where I'd left it when I first received it: at the bottom of my trunk, wrapped in the most hideous set of robes I possessed (a gift from a distant and eccentric great aunt, they were a garish shade of orange decorated with bright sequined dragons). I'd resisted the urge to read it so far, but I couldn't any longer. Eagerly, I opened the book to the first page and once again lost myself in a muggle fantasy. I read late into the night, only turning out the light when I realised that the adults were going to bed and might see the crack light under my door.

After that, I read a bit of the book every night. I finished it quickly, but that didn't stop me- I simply turned back to the beginning and began again. The rest of the holiday was much more bearable: even listening to Lucius's monologues was easy if I could escape into fantasises of Mr Darcy or Colonel Brandon- although I knew that I shouldn't let myself think such things. Even worse, I found myself imagining conversations with Ted about the books, longing for his smile. I hated myself for it, of course, but at the same time I seemed to have found a fragile kind of peace.

It was a state of affairs which couldn't last.


	10. Chapter 10

I came downstairs on the last day of the holiday to find my mother sitting at the breakfast table, alone. My heart sank at the scowl on her face. She should have been in a good mood, because the Malfoys were coming to dinner that night.

She looked up immediately when I entered and her scowl deepened. "You don't happen to know where your harlot of a sister is, do you?"

"Um- is she still sleeping?" I asked hesitantly.

It was the wrong thing to say. "No, she damn well is not- at least not in this house!" mother snapped. Then she paused to take a deep breath and seemingly attempt to calm herself. "She didn't sleep in her bed last night, and she didn't seem to feel the need to inform me of her whereabouts."

"Oh," I said. Suddenly, I was worried. "Have you asked the Rosiers if they know where she is? Or the Wilkes?"

"No. I suppose that might be a good idea," she admitted reluctantly, glaring at me. She stood up stiffly and walked through to the drawing room, where our largest fireplace was. I thought of following her- I was worried about Bella- but decided it might be best to keep out of mother's way if I could. Instead, I served myself a bowl of porridge and ate quickly as I waited for mother to reappear.

Cissy came downstairs a few minutes later, but she wasn't hugely worried when I told her that Bella was missing. "She's probably just doing it to get to mother or something. You know what Bella's like." She yawned and began to butter a slice of toast. "She'll turn up."

I stared at her incredulously. "You aren't worried at all?"

"Bella can look after herself. Honestly, with the amount of curse books she has in her room these days I'd be more worried about the health of anyone silly enough to try and kidnap her. And mother has the nerve to say that _I_ spend too much money!" She sipped her tea delicately. "Looking forward to seeing Lucius later?"

I gaped at her, but before I could there was an eruption of shouting in the next room. "What on earth did you think you were doing? It's bad enough to be lumbered with a daughter with seemingly no chance of ever finding a husband, but you act as though you were above the rest of us!"

Seemingly, Bella was back.

"I'm sorry, mother, but I'm not a child-"

"You're a child as long as you're unmarried and living under my roof!"

"You have no idea-"

"Not even an owl to tell us where you were-"

"It was _important_-"

"The things people are starting to say about you-"

"Marriage is for the weak-"

"Soon be completely unmarriageable!"

Cissy and I exchanged glances before sneaking upstairs in my room, though, I could hear the argument raging downstairs. I pulled a pillow over my ears to block it out. With only a few precious hours left before the Malfoys arrived, I escaped from my worries the way I always did now: into fantasies of the world of Elizabeth Bennet, and a marriage to a man who would sweep me away from my worries and save my sister.

It wasn't until later in the day that I managed to get the full story from Bella: she and Evan Rosier had apparently spent the night in London, although she refused to say what they had been doing. I thought there was a new coldness to her manner, and remembered Dora's suspicions about Evan. I shivered. What if Bella was involved in the same kind of activities as my late uncle? But no, Bella wouldn't- she could be difficult at times, but she wouldn't _kill_ anyone. She certainly wouldn't torture anyone.

_Would she?_ asked a nasty voice in my head. I remembered some of Bellatrix's nastier comments about muggles, the harsh punishments she would inflict on house elves, the way her face glowed every time the "Dark Lord" or his "Death Eaters" were mentioned in the _Daily Prophet_… I suddenly realised that I wasn't as sure as I once would have been. I hardly knew my own sister anymore.

"Andromeda!" Mother screeched at me a few hours later, storming into my room without knocking. I realised that I must have fallen asleep. "What on Earth do you think you're doing? The Malfoys have arrived, and your hair and face are in disarray. Anyone would think you didn't know that your fiancé was coming tonight. It's bad enough to have your sister burdening us, with no sign of an engagement. I certainly don't need you following in her footsteps."

"Sorry, mother," I said meekly. "I had a headache, and I must have lost track of the time."

She sighed loudly. "Yes, well." She grabbed my arm and wrenched me to my feet. She looked me over critically, and then began to draw her wand over my hair and face several times, muttering spells under her breath.

Finally, she pulled away and narrowed her eyes at me. "That's a bit better, I suppose. Find yourself something to wear and hurry downstairs as soon as you're presentable. Lucius will be wanting to see you- I hope." She rushed off, leaving me standing alone in the middle of my bedroom.

I reluctantly turned to my wardrobe and the many sets of dress robes within. I picked out a pair in canary-yellow that I knew looked terrible on me and were about a size too large. I glanced in the mirror and felt a kind of grim satisfaction. The silky yellow fabric made me look like an anaemic flobberworm- maybe Malfoy would reconsider our engagement when he saw me. Well, I could wish.

Lucius looked up and smiled briefly when he saw me. "Ah, Andromeda. You _finally_ managed to join us. And looking absolutely-" he paused to and glanced over my robes again- "-_luminous_, as always."

"Thank you," I said. "And you, of course, are handsome as ever." We both smiled falsely at each other.

Mother gave me a nasty look. "An interesting choice of robes, Andromeda. Your taste doesn't often coincide with Aunt Winifred's." Aunt Winifred was a relative whose dress sense was famously poor- the last time I had seen her, she had been wearing low-cut robes in a brilliant shade of magenta teamed with a stuffed peacock on her green pointed hat, and an incredibly obvious red bra.

I smiled sweetly. "Well, I thought that since I have so much to celebrate at the moment, I'd try wearing something bright."

Luckily, Lucius's presence prevented her from saying much more- and in any case, at that moment a house elf appeared by her side and bowed deeply. "Would both Mistresses and Master Malfoy care to follow me through to the table? Dinner will be served shortly." The three of us followed the elf through to the dining room, where everyone else was already sitting.

A silence fell over the table for a few moments when we sat down- the silence of people who have little to talk about but are forced together by a joint need for social standing. Mother was the one to break the silence. "That's a lovely pair of earrings, Lucinda. You _must _tell me where you got them."

Mrs Malfoy reached up and touched her earrings, as if to check which she was wearing. "Oh, these? They're nothing special- they just happened to catch my eye in Borlett's Boutique last time I was in Hogsmeade." She smiled casually, as if to challenge my mother by dropping the name of one of the most expensive stores in the village.

Mother smiled back dauntlessly. "Oh, really? I'm surprised I haven't seen them then. I _love_ Borlett's- I simply _cannot_ visit Hogsmeade without buying a few pieces."

The two of them launched into a comparison of their spending habits, and my father began a conversation about politics at the Ministry with Mr Malfoy, with Lucius occasionally joining in. Once again, I found myself slipping into daydreams- most of them based on the world of Jane Austen. Even so, the dinner seemed to last forever.

I was very glad that I would soon be going back to school.


	11. Chapter 11

"How was Christmas?" I asked Dora immediately, pulling out of our hug. The two of us had just arrived back at Hogwarts by Floo.

"Awful," she said flatly, as we joined the flow of students heading towards the Great Hall for the start-of-term feast. "Absolutely awful. Yours?"

"The same," I said. "What happened?"

She pulled a face as we sat down at the Slytherin table. "You don't want to know. I'd rather you told me about yours."

"Tough. I asked first."

She took a deep breath. "We went to visit Father in Azkaban. Honestly, Meda, you wouldn't believe how horrible it is…" She shuddered. "It's just- grim. Inhuman."

"How was your father?"  
"Awful. He barely said a word- he hardly seemed to recognise us. He just kept- staring into space, and then he told us-" She broke off sharply. "Tell me about yours. How was the Malfoy's castle?"  
This time, I didn't press her further. She looked closer to tears than I'd seen her in years- since the time she'd broken her arm falling off Evan's broomstick aged six. "The castle itself was wonderful," I said. "I just wish I could say the same for the company."

Dora met my explanation with more questions, seemingly desperate to avoid thinking about her own Christmas. I was more than happy to answer, enjoying the chance to moan about Malfoy and my family. I was just recounting to her Bella's seeming inability to hold any kind of normal conversation when Dumbledore stood up at the teachers table. I had never seen him looking so grim: his blue eyes held none of their usual twinkle.

The buzz of chatter quickly faded, as though every student in the Great Hall sensed his mood. As one, every head turned to look up at him. "I am afraid that I must begin the term with terrible news," he began. He paused briefly, and his eyes swept over the students in the hall. No-one spoke- the hall was quiet enough to hear a Lethifold's footsteps. "One of our number, a Miss Felicity Privet, was brutally murdered during the course of the holidays. To those who did not know her, Miss Privet might not have appeared particularly special. She kept herself to herself, not one to stir up trouble. However, to those lucky enough to know more of her she was a good friend, a brilliant Potioneer and a wonderful essay writer.

"To every single one of us, however, she represents a truly tragic loss. The Wizarding World has long been accepting of everyone with a talent for magic: Hogwarts is an outstanding example of this. Miss Privet belonged to our world, but because her parents were muggles her killers did not believe that she deserved her place in it. It was for this reason she, and her family, were murdered.

His eyes scanned the room again, and the silence seemed even deeper than before, if that were possible. The entire school seemed to hold it's breath. "Once again, I beg all of you to resist this way of thinking. I beg you to stick together, and stand united against those who call themselves the Death Eaters. I beg you to remember Miss Privet, both as a wonderful girl and a terrible warning of what will come if we allow prejudices to cloud our judgement. I ask that you remain silent for a moment as a mark of respect." He bowed his head, and I followed suit- along with many a minute had passed, he once again raised his head. "Thank you," he said simply. "And now, let us eat before we perish ourselves of starvation." He sat down, and slowly the hall began to fill with talk once again. The table was suddenly covered in platters and bowls of delicious food, and both Dora and I began to reach towards for our favourite dishes.

A loud burst of laughter from the end of the Slytherin table drew my eyes: a group of Slytherin boys were laughing uproariously. I was sure I caught the words "mudblood bitch". I froze with my hand halfway to a tureen of sage-and-onion stuffing, horrified. At the edge of the group, I noticed my cousin Regulus. He wasn't laughing: in fact, he looked as though he might be sick. He'd always been pale, but now his colour rivalled that of the Bloody Baron hovering a few seats away from him.

Suddenly, I felt as sick as Regulus looked.

"Are you alright?" Dora asked.

"Oh- yes. Of course." Slowly, I began to spoon stuffing onto my plate.

"You were telling me about your sister," she reminded me.

"Oh, yeah," I said, relieved for the distraction. I spent most of the rest of the feast recounting my family's antics. "I think she must have finally found herself a beau or something, but she doesn't want to give mother satisfaction by admitting it. Or something."

"Maybe there's something wrong with him. He could be really poor. Or work in the Misuse of Muggle Artifacts office."

I snickered at the thought of Bella with one of the stooped, eccentric old men who worked in the Ministry's least glamorous department. "I'm not sure I can see it, somehow," I said.

"He might breed Pygmy Puffs, then," she suggested. We passed the rest of the feast discussing the many ways in which Bella's lover could be so flawed she'd be embarrassed to bring him home.

I enjoyed myself hugely- but still, I found my gaze slipping to the Ravenclaw table more than once. I knew it was wrong, but I couldn't help but wonder whether I'd get the chance to speak to Ted Tonks again this term. _Not_ that I wanted to obviously- except I did, more than anything.

As it happened, I got my chance even sooner than I expected: the two of us were both on Prefect duty the very next night. I couldn't help but smile when I turned the corner and saw him coming towards me. He didn't look happy at all, however- and the smile faded from my face.

"Uh- hi," I said, suddenly slightly tongue-tied. I hadn't expected to end up so close to him- not when he'd been a major feature of my fantasies over the last two weeks. "I- uh- I wanted to thank you for the book you leant me. _Sense and Sensibility_. It's brilliant."

"Good," he said coldly.

"And- um- I'm sorry about what happened in Hogsmeade. I shouldn't have been as rude as I was," I said, stumbling over the words. I've never been good at apologies- it's a Black family trait, I suppose: none of us likes to admit that we could ever possibly be in the wrong. "I just- wasn't expecting to see you there."  
"Yes, I gathered that," he said again, his tone still cold. "I suppose with the kind of company you keep, you were probably protecting me as much as anything."

"What?" I said, startled by his assertion. "What- what do you mean?"

"Oh, come on, Black- it's common knowledge that they're all as bad as each other. Your friend's father was just unlucky enough to be the one who got caught. And on that subject, does your fiancé know you don't wear a ring when you're at school? It would help you avoid giving the wrong impression to people like me."

"What- how do you know?" I gasped.

He didn't answer. "I'm supposed to be patrolling. See you around." He walked straight past me without another look, and continued down the corridor. I stood still for a few moments, staring after him, then started walking numbly. Tears stung the back of my eyes. Even so, I knew that I deserved everything I got. I couldn't believe I'd so much as _considered_ any kind of relationship with a mudblood. I should have been thanking Tonks for saving me from my own stupidity.

I dragged my sleeve across my eyes roughly to wipe away the tears, and resolved to throw _Sense and Sensibility_ into the fire the next chance I got. And with that, I got on with my patrol- praying that I would bump into some hapless first year so I could put him in detention for the rest of his Hogwarts life.

_A/N: Please let me know what you think- I love reviews!_


	12. Chapter 12

I stared up at the hangings of my bed in the darkness. I was exhausted, but I couldn't sleep. I hadn't been able to sleep for days. I listened to the breath of the other three girls in my dormitory, and wondered whether Dora was awake too.

Even if I could have been certain that she was awake, I wasn't sure that I would have spoken to her. There was no way I would ever be able to explain what was troubling me, and I was fairly sure that I had noticed her withdrawing when it came to telling me about what was bothering her.

I had received another letter from my mother about wedding arrangements. I would be getting my nuptial robes from Madame Pussifoots, apparently, and the decorations would follow a white and silver theme. The cake would be twelve tiers of light sponge ("fruit cake in summer is _dreadfully_ common"), with layers of lemon curd and cream. It would be accompanied by small meringues, thinly sliced bread and butter and champagne enchanted to glitter like liquid silver. A troupe of singing pixies would provide music.

I sighed and turned over, hopelessly trying to find a position in which I would be comfortable enough to sleep. My mind kept filling with horrible images: Lucius leading me in the first dance to the high voices of the pixies, dressed in silvery robes that matched both his cold eyes and the decorations. Even scarier was the idea that he might take it upon himself to go through my possessions for some reason, and chance upon one of the books Ted had given me. I still kept them both at the bottom of my trunk- despite my resolution to be rid of them, I hadn't brought myself get rid of them. Once I was married, I would have to- I couldn't risk them being found out. The very thought of doing so made me want to cry.

I must have slipped into sleep eventually because I was woken the next morning by the shrill cry of my clock ("Oi, lazybones! It's seven thirty!"). I was absolutely exhausted.

"Shut up," I mumbled.

"It's your fault if you're tired!" it screamed. "And your friend went downstairs thirty minutes ago!" I was reaching around for a pillow to throw at it when it added, "She was in tears!"

I froze. "What? Why?"

"How should I know! I'm just a clock!"

Narrowly resisting the temptation to slam it into the wall, I quickly got dressed to go and find Dora. Within minutes, I was all but running from the dormitory, heading towards the Great Hall although I suspected that she would probably be walking the grounds. On reaching the Hall, a quick glance up and down the Slytherin table showed that I was right. Dora was nowhere to be seen. I quickly grabbed a stack of toast and a banana before going outside. As soon as I left the castle I began to run, certain that something was very wrong. Dora didn't cry.

I found Dora by the lake. She wasn't crying, but her eyes were rimmed with red and her eyelashes clung together damply. She wore a thin set of black robes, but she didn't seem to be cold. I shivered- even in my woolly cloak, I was freezing.

"Dora?" I asked softly, sitting down beside her. "What's wrong?"

She didn't answer immediately, so I held out the stack of toast to her. She absently took a slice in her hand and held it as though she had forgotten what to do next.

"Dora?" I asked again.

She turned her tearstained face to me. "It's Evan."

I sat silently, waiting for her to continue. There was a long moment of silence. Dora began to shred the slice of toast, pulling off little bits and dropping them to the grass. She shook her head. "I-I can't say it." Tears sprung to her eyes again.

I reached to hug her but she pulled away quickly and gasped, "He's dead!" She tore the piece of toast in half and hurled it to the ground, breaking into noisy sobs. "Mother wrote to me this morning. I still don't believe it. How can he be dead?"

I hugged her again and this time she didn't pull away. She didn't respond at all, continuing to cry as though I wasn't even there. I felt helpless and incredibly sorry for her, unable even to imagine how I would cope if one of my sisters died. I wanted to ask what had happened to him, but didn't want to upset her more. Instead I just continued to sit there hugging her as she cried, wishing that there was something more I could do.

A few minutes later, the bell rang. I didn't move, not expecting Dora to be up to lessons and fully prepared to miss mine in order to keep her company. Instead, she stood stiffly.

"You're going to lessons?" I asked, surprised.

"Yeah," she said. Her voice was a little hoarse. "Can I have some toast please?"

"Um, of course," I said, passing her some toast. "But you don't have to go to lessons- I'm sure the teachers will understand if you don't."

"I won't let them win," she said stiffly. She shoved the toast in her mouth furiously and chewed twice before swallowing it almost whole.

I didn't ask who _they_ were. Instead, I followed her up to the castle. When we got to the Entrance Hall, we separated to go to our different lessons. I hugged Dora tightly as we said goodbye, and hoped- _prayed_- she would be alright.

It was only when I got to my lesson (Potions) that the full force of what had happened hit me. Evan Rosier, my cousin Evan, was dead. I hadn't liked him particularly, or even really known him, despite being related. He had always been closer to Bella. Even so, I found myself biting back tears. I couldn't help but remember all the times he and Bella had babysat me, Dora and Cissy while our parents were at parties. When Cissy had been disappointed at not being allowed to go to balls, he'd attempted to teach the three of us to dance- laughing at Dora's clumsiness but patiently tutoring Cissy until she became better at it than he was. Those times felt like another lifetime- more recently, the only times he had been to our house were to hole up in Bella's room, going through the vast collection of books on Dark Magic she had amassed. Even so, I couldn't imagine him killing or torturing anyone: I had always imagined his interest in the Dark Arts to be purely academic, like Bella's.

A cold chill ran through me. _What if Bella's interest wasn't purely academic?_

"Miss Black?" Slughorn's voice cut through my train of thought.

I jerked my head up. "Yes."

"I asked you about the differences between the European and North American species of mandrake."

"Oh, uh..." I thought desperately, but my mind was a blank. I could feel the eyes of the entire class on me, and wondered whether they had heard about Evan's death. Judging by the lack of whispers when I had entered the room, it hadn't yet been reported in the _Prophet_.

"Are you feeling alright?" Slughorn asked, suddenly full of concern. For once, I was glad to be one of his favourites.

"Er… Actually, not really," I said, too quickly to be convincing. "I've, er, got a really bad headache. Sorry," I added, even less convincingly.

"Well, perhaps you'd better hurry along to the hospital wing. I'm sure your potion making skills are good enough to withstand you missing one lesson although we'll be sorry not to have you, of course," Slughorn said genially.

"Thank you, Sir," I said. I stood up, somewhat shakily, and made my way out of the room. I could feel the curious stares of my classmates on me, but I barely cared. When I reached the empty corridor outside the classroom, I stopped and leant against the wall for a few moments. _Of course Bella wouldn't really use the spells she reads about_, I told myself. _She's not evil. She couldn't._

_Could she?_

I wondered whether Slughorn would check whether I had really gone to the hospital wing. I felt sick, but I knew there was nothing in the hospital wing that could make the slightest bit of difference. Instead, I turned and began to walk in the direction of the Slytherin Common Room. I didn't know what I'd do when I got there- my mind felt too fragmented and distracted to focus on anything.

When I arrived in our dormitory I found Dora lying on her bed. It was obvious that she had been crying- her cheeks were wet and her eyes red. Now, however, she was silent and still.

I ran to her bed, dropping my bag on the floor. "Dora, are you alright?" I realised immediately how stupid my question was. Of course she wasn't alright.

"I couldn't do it," she said flatly. "Turns out Arithmancy isn't as much of a distraction as I thought. Mother's going to come and pick me up after lunch."

"Oh… Right."

"I'm sorry, Meda- I can't stay here."

"No, I understand," I said.

"No you don't," she snapped. "All of your family is alive, none are in a prison where they'd be b-better off dead." She began to cry again.

"I suppose not," I admitted.

"So how can you possibly understand?" she sobbed. "No-one understands." I hugged her as she cried, and eventually she stopped and wiped her eyes fiercely. "Sorry. It's not your fault. I shouldn't have snapped at you."

"Don't you dare worry about it," I told her.

"I just want everything back to the way it was," she sobbed. "My father out of prison, and E-E-Evan-" She broke off. "I can't bear it!" She shook herself suddenly and wiped her eyes roughly with her sleeve again, before getting up and beginning to fold clothes.

"Do you want to talk about it?" I asked.

"Not really."

"Ok." I got up and began to help her fold her clothes and to pack them into her trunk with her books and her other belongings.

A few hours later, she had left Hogwarts. I was alone save for my other two housemates and the books in my trunk. To my disgust, my traitorous mind leapt immediately to the one person I most needed to avoid thinking about- Ted Tonks.

_A/N: I found this chapter really hard to write. I've never had anyone close to me die, so I found it really hard to imagine how Dora would react.I hope it's semi-realistic and in character- and sorry if it isn't. The next chapter should be better- and will feature Ted again!_


	13. Chapter 13

A few days later, I was picking at a plate of eggs, toast and bacon when the usual rush of owls swept into the Great Hall. It was only a few days since Dora had left and I missed her desperately. I looked up quickly and scanned the mass of feathers for a bird I recognised.

My heart leapt when Dora's owl Quill landed next to me and held out his leg for me to remove the letter. As I fumbled with the string he leant over to try and pinch a rasher of bacon from my plate, lost his balance and fell headfirst into my breakfast.

"Hey, calm down," I said, smiling for the first time in days. Quill had always shared Dora's appetite. A group of first year Gryffindor's saw my smile and huddled closer together, looking shocked.

I managed to take the letter from Quill's leg and absent-mindedly passed him a few rashers of bacon as I opened it up and read it.

_Meda,_

_Home is just as awful as you'd expect. Mother seems to be falling to pieces. Most days she doesn't even get out of bed, and the meals the house elf brings her are almost invariably sent back untouched. The level in the sherry bottle, however, seems to go down with alarming rapidity._

_Your sister's been remarkably helpful, though. She's been around a lot, helping to make sure the house doesn't completely fall to pieces._

I paused and frowned. That didn't sound much like the Bella I knew at all. I continued to read, hoping for an explanation.

_She's also talked to me about Evan, explaining what he was fighting for. It helps to know that this was more than just a bar-room brawl: he knew what he wanted. Apparently he's become something of a martyr to the cause. Bella's promised to introduce me to some of his other friends at some point._

_I still miss you a lot, though. How's school?_

_Yours,_

_Dora._

I bit my lip worriedly as I studied the letter again. I wasn't at all sure that Dora should be getting involved with whatever Evan had gotten himself into, but I couldn't see how I could say so without hurting her still more. I supposed that if Bella was involved it couldn't be too bad- my sister wouldn't get involved in anything risky. _Would she?_ I asked myself. Suddenly, I wasn't so sure. I thought of all the books on the Dark Arts she had collected, all the hours she spent studying them, the nights when she didn't come home…

Quill nipped my finger sharply. I had been so wrapped up in my thoughts that I'd forgotten to keep feeding him. I handed him another sausage, laughing softly as he tried to swallow it whole and almost choked.

The bell rang. Around me, students began to get to their feet and start towards classes. With a sigh, I passed Quill one last chunk of kipper and shooed him away. "Go on. Go home before you get to fat to get off the ground."

With a reproachful hoot, Quill took off. I gathered my things and began to walk to Transfiguration, worrying about Dora. I was so deep in my thoughts that I didn't pay attention to where I was going.

There was a missing step on one of the staircases I had to walk up- one which I often forgot and Dora was always either having to remind me to jump or helping to pull me out of- but today I fell straight into it, hard. There was a crunching noise, and a shooting pain shot through my right ankle. I tried to pull myself out with my free leg to no avail. I was stuck.

A few more gaggles of students passed in tight-knit groups, casting me accusing or worried looks as they passed- as though getting stuck in a staircase might be part of some kind of bizarre Death Eater plot. Not one of them offered to help. I glared back at them and struggled harder to get out, but only slipped deeper into the gap. My eyes watered from the pain in my ankle.

"Er- are you stuck?" a hesitant voice asked.

"No," I said sarcastically. The pain in my leg made me bad-tempered. "I do this on purpose. There's nothing like getting your leg stuck in a staircase to start your day with a bang."

"Fine," he said coldly. Ted Tonks strode past me on his way to the same Transfiguration class that I was supposed to be in. Why did I always end up throwing everything he did back in his face?

"Wait!" I called. "I'm sorry!"

He paused and turned slowly. Now it was his tone that was sarcastic. "Wow, are my ears deceiving me? A Black, apologising?"

I took a deep breath, wondering if I'd pass out from the pain. "I'm sorry for everything. Really." I winced again. "Now will you help me out? Please?"

He shrugged, with a carelessness that I was sure was forced. "I suppose so." He walked back to me and put his arm around my shoulder (I tried not to notice the way my skin tingled at the points where we touched, and the warmth that seemed to spread out from it, and the smell of him- a mix of library books and aftershave and shampoo). "I'm going to count to three and then try to heave you out, ok? Ready?" he asked.

"Yeah," I gasped.

"Ok. One, two, three-" On the last word, I felt the muscles in his arm contract as he started to pull me out. Moments later, my leg came free and I was out of the gap.

"Thanks," I said. "I thought that I was going to be there forever." I gingerly tried putting some weight on my right foot, and gasped in pain again.

"Are you alright?" Tonks asked.

"I don't know," I said. "I think I've hurt my foot." I hitched up my robes slightly to reveal my ankle. Already it was starting to look red and swollen.

"Do you need help getting to the hospital wing?"

I glanced down the corridor worriedly. It was now almost empty. "We'll miss Transfiguration."

Tonks looked at my ankle again pointedly. "I don't think you're in any state to go to Transfiguration. Come on, I'll help you." He slipped an arm around me gently to support me and began to steer me towards the hospital wing. I didn't argue. Even if I had been able to have walked unaided, I don't think that I would have wanted to.

Tonks supported me all the way to the hospital wing. We walked in silence except for my occasional gasps of pain as I was forced to put weight on my ankle. Despite the pain, I was disappointed when we finally reached the hospital wing.

Madame Vervain bustled out of her office immediately and looked the two of us up and down as if trying to work out what was wrong with us. She obviously got plenty of practice, because she figured it out almost immediately. "Ankle injury?"

"Yes," I said.

She sighed. "Let me guess. Quidditch?"

"No," I said. "Staircase."

She nodded briskly. "Let's have a look at it then." She shot Tonks a sharp glance. "Hadn't you better be getting to class?"

"Uh- yeah," he said, startled. He glanced at me, then turned and began to walk away.

"Thanks," I called after him.

He glanced back. "Any time." And then he left. I forced myself not to stare after him. My knight in shining armour… My _muggle_ knight, I reminded myself. But suddenly, his being a muggle didn't seem to matter quite so much.

I was brought back down to earth by a sharp jab to my ankle I gasped and jerked my foot away. Madame Vervain was prodding my ankle with her wand, a rather grim expression on her face. "_Why_ the headmaster lets the stairs continue to have their way, I don't know. Honestly, the amount of injuries they cause. Right, sit down on a bed and I'll sort it for you. It's a clean break, so I suppose we should be grateful for small mercies." She guided me to one of the beds in the hospital wing and I sat down, grateful to be able to lift my foot off the ground- it still hurt, but the pain was slightly more bearable. Madame Vervain prodded it with her wand again, and twisted it from side to side as if searching for something. It hurt, a lot. I screwed my eyes shut but it was still all I could do to keep from crying out. I wished that Ted were there to hold my hand.

Madame Vervain began to run her wand around my ankle more gently, muttering as she did so. Suddenly, the pain vanished, and when I looked down at my ankle I saw that the swelling had disappeared entirely. "Right, that should be healed."

"Thanks," I said with relief.

"Just look where you're going in future. Now, shouldn't you be in class?

"Yes," I said, getting to my feet and gingerly testing my ankle. It felt great. "Thanks again."

I hurried off to Transfiguration, looking forward to the chance to thank Tonks properly. When I arrived, the class was so absorbed in what looked like a very complicated spell involving dormice. McGonagall was the only one to notice me, and she didn't look at all pleased.

"Miss Black, how kind of you to join us," she said. "This lesson started forty minutes ago."

"Sorry, I had to go to the hospital wing. I fell into a staircase."

McGonagall regarded me sceptically, but before she had a chance to speak Tonks said quickly, "She did, Professor- I took her there. I can explain the spell to you, if you like."

McGonagall regarded me for a few seconds longer. I silently begged her to let me work with him, and to my relief she did. "All right. Your stories both seem to agree, anyway. Miss Black, Master Tonks will help you catch up on what you missed. And watch where you're putting your feet in future."

"Yes, Professor," I said with relief. I walked over to where Tonks sat and dumped my bag on the desk next to him. He was sitting alone- presumably he'd arrived too late to get a seat with his friends. "Thanks," I said gratefully. "That's twice you've helped me today."

"Don't mention it," Tonks said. If I had hoped that his sudden helpfulness showed a desire to be friends, however, I was wrong- he showed me the spell in a businesslike way and the two of us practiced it for the rest of the lesson. We barely spoke- I got the impression that Ted was waiting for me to speak first. I wanted, more than anything, to break the quiet between us- to ask him if I could borrow another book, to invite him to Hogsmeade, to scream that my engagement was a mistake and my family was a mess. But of course I didn't. I was careful to keep my manner as cold as his and didn't once let myself forget that he was a muggle.

I couldn't decide whether I was relieved or disappointed when the bell finally rang. We both picked up our bags and left without another word to each other. He joined a group of his friends as they headed towards the Great Hall. I thought that he might have glanced back at me, but I could equally have imagined it. I realised that I was once again staring after Tonks as he walked away from me, and wrenched my eyes away. My thoughts, however, were not so easily controlled.

_A/N: I'm sorry that this has been so long coming, and that it's possibly not the best thing I've ever written. I want to thank anyone reading this for keeping going with the story, and everyone who's left a review so far. I really appreciate it!_


	14. Chapter 14

It was a dull day, the weather perfectly suiting the atmosphere at Evan Rosier's funeral. Grey clouds hung low in the sky, and a steady drizzle slowly soaked the huddle of mourners gathered around the grave. I glanced over the people standing across me and tried not to think about the rumours which surrounded almost all of them. These were people I had known all my life, and almost all of them were related to me in some way. It was hard to think of them as killers.

I had my arm around Dora, who glared fiercely ahead of her. She seemed more angry than upset, and I thought it was probably the only way that she could keep herself from crying. On the other side of her, Bella wore an almost identical expression. Dora's mother was less restrained: my mother had to support her as she sobbed desperately into a handkerchief. I could barely hear the priest over the sound of her cries.

Finally, the priest seemed to reach the end of his speech. He picked up a handful of soil. "We now commit this body to rest in the ground: earth to earth, ashes to ashes, dust to dust; to rest as Merlin rests, in the sure hope of eternal life at the hands of the Almighty." He cast the soil onto the coffin lying at the bottom of the open grave, and invited the rest of the mourners to follow suit.

Still glaring, both Bella and Dora made their way to the pile of soil to do so. A few others went too: Eugene Avery, Lucius Malfoy and Rudolphus Lestrange among them. My mother managed to guide a still sobbing Mrs Rosier to the pile and moved her hands through the motion of throwing soil in. When they had done, the priest flicked his wand once and the rest of the soil fell onto the grave.

The movement seemed to waken the remainder of the mourners from a trance, and almost everyone disapparated- most of them, I assumed, going on to the Rosier's country house where a reception would be held.

My mother disapparated, taking Mrs Rosier with her. Dora hesitated for a few moments, staring at the heap of soil in front of her as if she couldn't work out what it was. I moved towards her, hoping to comfort her although I knew that there was little I could offer.

Before I reached her, though, Bella took her arm. "Come," she said. "I think it's time for you to meet someone."

"He's here?" Dora asked, her face suddenly eager. She looked more alive than she had all day.

"He'll meet us in the grounds of your house." Together, they disapparated. I glanced around to see that I was the last one left, and quickly followed suit- disapparating from the graveyard and reappearing on the driveway of the Rosier's house. I glanced around but couldn't see either Dora or Bella, so I had no choice but to follow the rest of the crowd up to the house and into the ballroom, where house elves were handing out drinks and canapés to the damp mourners.

I looked around me and felt lost. Dora and Bella were still nowhere to be seen- and nor, I noticed, was Lucius. I had known most of the people in this room since childhood, but I didn't want to speak to them now. All I wanted was a hot bath, chocolate, and perhaps a book (I hated to have to admit it, but Pride and Prejudice would have been perfect).

I was still staring around when my mother appeared as if from nowhere and took my arm. "Come, Andromeda- you can't just stand there like a dazed gnome. It's terribly unbecoming. I'm sure your Aunt Crabbe will be dying to hear about your wedding."

I let myself be steered wordlessly towards a nearby huddle of black-clad women, none of whom looked particularly upset. They all beamed at mother and I as we approached. She beamed back, and I attempted to force a smile onto my face.

"Andromeda, how you've grown!" Aunt Crabbe gushed. "Why, you're almost a woman now! And just in time for the wedding, too!"

I struggled to keep the smile fixed on my face. "Just so long as I still fit into my dress," I said, in a poor attempt at humour. I gave a forced laugh that the other women echoed.

"Yes- the food at Hogwarts can be rather heavy, can't it?" one of the other women- Veronica Bullstrode- said. "Emmaline had _such_ trouble keeping her figure."

"Well, at least Andromeda doesn't have to worry about _that_," Mother replied. "She has the opposite problem." She looked at me critically.

"Have you set a day yet?" another woman asked.

"Yes, it's going to be on June the third," Mother answered. "The first Saturday after Andromeda finishes her NEWTs."

I inwardly shuddered- I hated the idea of celebrating the end of my school life by immediately tying myself to a man I didn't love. Still, I hadn't been given a choice. As they moved on to discussing the other details- the church where it would be held, dress fittings, how wonderful a couple Lucius and I would make- I let my mind drift elsewhere. Mother talked enthusiastically enough that I only had to smile and occasionally nod. My wedding was the last thing I wanted to think about.

As soon as I reasonably could, I excused myself and made my way towards the most distant bathroom I knew of. It was on the second floor, at the opposite end of the East Wing of the house. I tiptoed through a maze of corridors where I had spent much of my childhood, relieved to hear the sounds of the party fade behind me. Soon the only sounds were the ticking of various ornate clocks located around the house, and my quiet footsteps on the wooden floorboards.

When I reached the bathroom I locked the door and leant against it, before sliding down to sit on the floor with my back to the wood and my head in my hands. I had wanted to cry when I was outside, but now I found that the tears wouldn't come. Even so, I sat there as long as I felt I could without Mother sending out a search party. I unlocked the door slowly and began to make my way back towards the ballroom.

On my way back I noticed that the door to the Rosier's library had been left slightly open. I glanced up and down the corridor and then silently slipped into the room. The room was exactly as I remembered it from all the afternoons I had spent there as a child. It was small and cosy, full of the smell of old books. The walls were lined with bookshelves reaching from floor to ceiling, with small stepladders hovering to carry visitors to the high shelves. A cluster of squishy armchairs gathered around a mahogany coffee table, adding a hint of leather to the smell of the room.

I cast my eyes over the shelves. Obviously, there were no muggle romances here. The books were mostly non-fiction: encyclopaedias of magical plants and animals, biographies of famous wizards and discussions of wizarding philosophy. I was reaching out for a biography of Circe when I heard one of the floorboards outside creak. Listening carefully, I could make out low voices.

I froze. There was no way out of the library, but I didn't want anyone to know that I had been snooping and avoiding the people downstairs. Quickly, I darted to a small hole behind one of the bookshelves. I had hidden there as a child when I'd wanted to stay reading rather than have a bath or be sent to bed. Now, however, I was a lot larger. It was a struggle to squeeze in. I had just managed to fold my legs into the tiny space (one of them immediately began to cramp) when the door was pushed open and two sets of footsteps come in. The door was shut with a snap behind them.

"Bellatrix, I will not have you inducing _children_ into the Dark Lord's sevice," someone hissed. My stomach lurched as I recognised the voice of my fiancé, and my sister's name.

"The Dark Lord is pleased," came Bella's voice. "The girl is from a good family, and she is as passionate about our cause as any- more than some, I could say."

"She's distraught, for Merlin's sake! She's lost her father and her brother- of course she wants to get her own back." The cramp in my leg was getting more and more painful.

"Both of them were good servants to the Dark Lord," Bella said. "I am sure, Lucius, that the fact she is female would not bias you against her?"

"Of course not," Lucius said. "But-"

"But you still believe that your judgement is superior to His?" she said. Her voice was soft and dangerous. By now the cramp in my leg was almost unbearable, but I didn't dare move.

"No, but-"

"Good. I trust the Dark Lord's judgement implicitly, and so should you. I fail to see the problem." And with that she left, her footsteps moving towards the door and down the corridor. I heard Lucius sigh. After a few moments, he followed her out.

I sat still for a few minutes, still huddled up behind the bookshelf. The full meaning of their words had suddenly hit me. The girl they were talking about was Dora. My cousin and best friend. But I knew that I had to be mistaken. Dora would never become a Death Eater. Then again, I'd thought the same about Bella.

I felt sick. Not knowing what else to do, I slowly unfolded myself and got up awkwardly. Both my legs had gone dead, and I rubbed them to bring back sensation and to ease the cramp. I realised that my face was wet with tears and wiped them away roughly- but more kept coming. At least at a funeral I supposed I would have a good excuse to cry. As soon as I could walk again, I set off down the corridor- presumably following the route Bella and Lucius had taken, back to the ballroom.

On reaching the gathering downstairs, I spotted Dora immediately. She was surrounded by acquaintances offering condolences: the Goyles, the Yaxleys, the Averys… I wanted to force my way through them and talk to her, just to reassure myself that she was still the Dora I knew and not a new, terrifying one who hated muggles enough to torture and kill them- but for some reason, I didn't quite dare do so. What if I was wrong?

Instead, I spotted Bella across the room and made a beeline for her. I grabbed a glass of wine from a passing house elf as I went. She was talking to two men I knew by name but had never spoken to: Dolohov and Goyle. I hadn't realised that Bella knew them especially well. She looked annoyed when she saw me, and immediately hushed her companions.

I couldn't bring myself to confront her with what I had just heard. As the three of them glared at me, I opened my mouth and gaped stupidly for a moment before stammering, "Er- hello, Bella." I nodded at Goyle and Dolohov, who nodded back but glared harder still.

"Hello," Bella said shortly. "Did you want something?"

"Er- just to ask how you've been," I said.

"I'm fine," she said.

"Good." I took a gulp of my wine. Just then, mother rushed up behind me, pulling Lucius behind her.

"Andromeda, _sip_- don't gulp," she hissed in my ear. "And I'm not sure you should be drinking anyway. It'll stain your teeth terribly." She pulled away, and said in a quite different tone of voice, "Lucius and I have been looking all over for you. Where have you been?"

Suddenly, I couldn't take it any more. I felt all my feelings of betrayal and loneliness turn to fury. "Actually, I doubt that," I said coldly. "I know for a fact that Lucius has been hidden away planning to indoctrinate some poor girl into the Death Eaters, and you couldn't care less about me unless you're trying to marry me off to the highest bidder." My voice rose more and more as I spoke, so that a few people nearby paused in their conversations to glance over at us.

Mother's face went pale, and for a moment she looked furious. Then she plastered a sickly look of concern onto her face. "I'm so sorry," she said to the people around us. "Evan's death has hit her very hard. She doesn't know what she's saying." She grabbed my arm in a vice-like grip. "I'd better take you home, Andromeda, before you say anything else you'll regret."

I wrenched my wrist away and took a step back. "No, I won't go. I just heard my fiancé, who I never even _wanted_ to marry, and my sister-" I motioned towards Bella and Lucius, "-plotting to make my best friend into a criminal! She'll become a lying, murdering, torturing-" I was shouting now, and the entire room turned to watch the commotion. For most of them this would be a scandal to discuss with delight for years to come.

"That's enough!" mother screamed. She lunged at me, but I dodged backwards. I bumped into a man behind me and sent his glass of wine flying over the cream gown of Irma Crabbe. Irma screeched loudly and whipped out her wand to try and remove the stain. Mother pulled out her wand to, but she pointed it straight at me. "You'll come home right now, you stupid girl."

"No!" I shouted back. I knew I had gone to far to go back now. I had no idea how mother would punish me for this and I didn't want to know. I glanced around at the staring faces, and then turned and began to run for the parlour. I knew that there was always a full pot of Floo Powder there, perched next to a fireplace that was always lit.

"If you leave now, you're never coming back," mother shouted after me. "Never! You'll be disowned! I have no middle daughter!"

It was with her last words ringing in my ears that I reached the fireplace and desperately grabbed a handful of green powder from the pot. I hurled it into the grate and screamed "Hogwarts!" before throwing myself into the green flames.

As I began to spin faster and faster, I could still hear mother's last words echoing in my head. She had no middle daughter, and it seemed I had no longer had a family. At that moment I was too numb to fully understand, but I knew that the words would hurt in time.

_A/N: Thanks for reading, and thank you especially to everyone who's reviewed so far. I really appreciate it so, so much- it makes my day every single time!_


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